The Results Are In!

So...the MRI of my cervical spine was the same...all jacked up. Every vertebrae herniated or bulging. The MRI of my right shoulder turned out to be bursitis. Ouch! I had NO idea how painful bursitis is. Looks like another 4-6 weeks of physical therapy for me. (I love my physical therapist. She allows me to do my therapy in the dark. Ha!) As for the pain of the degenerative disc disease, my meds were increased. My Dr was honest with me when I asked, "There really is no pain medication for nerve pain, is there?" and she responded, "Outside of the cortisone injections...no." So, the question in my head is, how does one live like this? I refuse to think that the state I'm in is permanent. I refuse to think this is the way God wants me to live the rest of my life...and with those thoughts, I begin to wonder, "What are my next steps?", "What am I doing wrong?", "What do I need to do now?", "How do I survive this?" :::heavy sigh::: But by the grace of God...

Chronic pain is no joke! I think when I try to describe it, people can't fathom constant pain. If there's any kind of relief, it's few and far between. And even when you feel relief, you dare not do anything to aggravate pain. Once aggravated, it consumes your day or night.

As I sit her typing, the pain patch I now wear doesn't take away the pain, it just makes me groggy and irritable. On top of that, the adhesive on the patch is breaking my skin out, so now I have read blotches surrounding a 2" x 3" clear patch. SHEESH! This is my life! lol

2010...So Far

I didn't forget about my blog, I just kept cringing at the thought of writing things that were not necessarily good news.

2010 started off okay. Work was busy and my performance at work was awesome (even if I do say so myself). By February, I started feeling tinges of pain hear and there but I initially ignored it and thought it would go away by itself. By the end of February, "it" was back. The same pain that took me out the last time...only this time it came back with a friend: a hellacious daily migraine! Even in February, I just tried to make it through the day. If I could make it through the work day, I could take my meds and collapse. When I called my pain management Dr, he wanted to see me. When he sees me that means an automatic 3-4 week process. I get cortizone shots at the base of my skull and then I have to wait (in pain) for the next 3-4 weeks to see if it works. The problem this time, is that it didn't work. After being dissapointed realizing it didn't work, I resorted back to my other meds...but this time the meds turned on me! I began to have adverse (mega-migraine) reactions to ALL...yes ALL the narcotics I had used in the past. I would take it at night and fall asleep only to wake up screaming in the middle of the night from the pain in my head. My poor husband would be at my side the entire time and it was the next day when he would tell me that my screaming and crying lasted for 1 hour, 2 hours or 3 hours. When I awoke, I would never know how long the ordeal lasted...only the pain.

In the midst of this saga I have also sprained my right shoulder (by simply rolling out of bed) and twisted my ankle and bruised my knee by falling while attempting to get to my car...while coming from a Dr's office visit. Ha! (I can laugh about it now.) Pain, pain and more pain. Wow. This happened within 2 weeks of each other. Needless to say, ice packs were my constant companions.

I never realized how efficient my workplace was regarding customer service until I started having to deal with governmental entities and businesses. Suddenly, my Dr's office takes 7-10 days to do EVERYTHING. To get a detailed note sent to my employer...7-10 days. To get scheduled for an MRI...7-10 days. Appointments are always scheduled 2-3 weeks out. How ridiculous! I walked in a government office for an appointment and actually heard the tapping of a typewriter. A typewriter?!? For real?!? The people that worked there looked miserable. No smiles, no laughter, no chatter, no "May I help you?" with a smile. It was more like, "What do you need?" as she decided to look up at me over the top of her glasses, after 60 seconds of me standing there went by. Oy vay!

Okay...back to me. I now affectionately call my bedroom "the cave". My windows are now layered with mini-blinds, shears, blankets and black fabric. Yep...that's my "cave"...my safe haven. Light and noise are the enemy right now. Heck! I even have to dim the light of my laptop all the way down just to use it. It's a good thing I take Vitamin D because the only time I get sun is when I have a Dr's appointment.

I have a Dr's appointment on Thursday to get MRI results from the previous week. Stay tuned.