My Journey In Pharma - The Final Years, Part 3

The final three years of my tenure were marred with physical problems. First a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and a year later, Degenerative Disk Disease. Together, they equal nothing but chronic pain. I kept fighting the pain with prescribed medications, cortisone shots, nerve blocks, heat, cold, bed-rest, chiropractic manipulation, decompression, physical therapy, exercise, water aerobics, a TENS unit and radio frequency lesioning...all have failed. I even began to have adverse reactions to some of the prescribed narcotics. I had never in my life experienced such pain and agony. Pain so great, my husband has had to run me to the emergency room at least 3 times.

Because of my physical instabilities, the final 3 years of my tenure, being a drone was nothing but a never ending learning curve. I felt like I had begun a pattern of being on medical leave for 2-3 months, and back to work for 3-4 months...THEN on medical leave for 3-4 months and back to work for 2-3 months. This pattern of absence, plus the major reorganizations happening within the company suddenly made me feel a bit worthless. The skill-sets I had mastered in my former division had little or no value in this new "Borg" world. I was a drone...and a novice drone at that. The work I now was required to do was boring in comparison to my former work. My life was now filled with project plans, budgets, vendors, learning systems and constantly changing processes for how to get things done. Thank God, every Borg leader I had was patient, understanding and empathetic.

Due to my leaves of absence, I can't really say I got to know my Borg drone colleagues very well, but those I experienced were very pleasant (with the exception of one) and helpful. Unfortunately (and in my opinion), my former training colleagues that were placed on the Borg ship with me, were not made of the same Borg drone "stuff" as these other drones were. Most of my former training colleagues (from the previous division), left the Borg ship for other positions within the company. Those of us that were left, felt like we were treading water until something better came along. Unfortunately, the only thing that came along was a company downsizing.

Leaving the Borg department was a major relief. I was a square peg that never would have fit in the hole. Leaving my Borg colleagues and leaders was sad. I genuinely liked them. Thankfully, Facebook will allow me to stay connected to them.

It looks like my next chapter in life will be taking care of me. Surviving these diseases and living the best quality life that I can.

My Journey In Pharma - The Others, The Borg Queen and Drones, Part 2

We all know how reorganizations start, right? As rumors. Sometimes the rumors were so unfathomable, you just ignore them and keep functioning despite them. I think the first change that occurred, was how the data entry of completed training was input. New codes needed to be put in. Hmmmmm...ok. No biggie. Suddenly, there is this training group at Corporate (who we'll call the "others") that feels like they're trying to infiltrate us. No worries. With JO as our gatekeeper, I didn't worry. Then, JO gets a promotion and for the first time in 4 years, I have a new supervisor....and then another...and then another...all within 3 years. My foundation was shattered and the rumors began to have a tinge of truth to them. Soon, we were going to be merged with ...(dun, dun, duhhhhh) :::scream:::...the "others"!

I had previous contact with some of the "others" because of the data entry changes that occurred and I have to say, it was always pleasant. As all this change is occurring, I noticed that I began to have more and more back issues. It began to be so severe, I had to go on medical leave. Shortly after returning from medical leave a MAJOR change occurred and we got an "other" as a supervisor. The consensus of the group was a combination of shock, surprise and horror. LOL The "others" became "The Borg" and we soon realized that "resistance was futile". "The Borg Queen" came to visit us to reassure us that our best interests were being considered, however, we didn't believe her. Almost instantly, my dream job ceased. In my opinion, our training team felt like an engine being told to keep functioning, however, we were given a different type of fuel to work with, a different engineer...and a whole lot of maintenance that needed to be done. All the while attempting to answer the questions from our devout customers, who had become accustomed to our one on one attention. Suddenly (to them) we were no longer at their beck and call. Now they had another "borg drone" that was supposed to field all of their questions. The Borg had taken over and I felt like I no longer had an identity.

I had spent almost 7 years, building a reputation of trust, integrity and leadership within our division (pre-Borg). I was appointed as a leader of a task force by the Executive Director. I was a trusted consultant to the executive leadership. I was a major diversity leader and advocate. Often, I was solicited by leadership to facilitate courses at their regional meetings around the US, Puerto Rico and Toronto. Suddenly, I felt yanked away from all that I had built and I, myself became nothing but a Borg drone.

My Journey In Pharma - The Early Years, Part 1

I bid the pharma company that I had been working for, for 10 years adieu yesterday. It was very bittersweet. As I walked to HR to turn in some final paperwork, I didn't see a sole that I knew. As I was walking back toward the exit, I looked up and saw the word,"Journey" hanging on the ceiling. How appropriate. The end of one journey...and the start of another. As I was about to descend on the escalator, I remembered thinking, "Wow. I'm not going to see a single soul I know before I leave this building.". Suddenly, I glanced to my right and saw a familiar face. My former director, who had always been so kind and helpful toward me. She smiled when she saw me and said, "I bet I know where you're coming from!". We laughed. She too, had turned in her final paperwork to HR. It was very nice to see a familiar face, on those final steps to the exit.

Looking back over my tenure, I'd have to say the first you I worked there as a contractor and had a ball! I thought it was the greatest gig ever! I could wear blue jeans, the supervisor was awesome and fed us brownies (when our metrics were good), we ordered shakes from McDonald's or Frosty's from Wendy's, had chili cook-offs, and egg omelets made to order! There was a different activity every single month! I LOVED going to work every day. Then...suddenly, some permanent positions opened. I didn't apply because I didn't think I'd get it. My supervisor TOLD me to apply and within 2 months, I was a full-time employee! My family was so proud and I was in shock. I thought I'd work there forever...until...my supervisor left exactly one month later and EVERYTHING changed.

The next year was the total opposite of the first. No celebrations, no accolades, just more work, more pressure and worse leadership. I mentally began to change for the worse and it began to affect my health. Thankfully and unexpectedly, I made a career change from IT to Training. This new training group was a bit hard to break into. It was much different than IT. In IT, you were drilled to do the work, hit the metrics and complete the projects on time and on budget. This new training group was pretty laid back. I think I hid in my cubicle most of the time because there was a sudden supervisor change less than 2 months after I arrived. Was I really expected to answer phone calls, file and data entry? I thought to myself, "What the hell did I get myself in to?" After a blow out with one of the Associates, I spoke to the Director and tried to convince him that I had made a mistake in applying for this position....and yes, I felt I was OVER qualified for it. He convinced me to stay...at least for a year and promised things would get better. I settled in, however, it was still a very rocky start. If it hadn't been for the trust I had for the new supervisor, I would have exited...quickly.

While attempting to grasp this new training department, I began to gain allies who actually saw my potential and realized I could do more than what was asked of me. A Nigerian (aka MO) and an "egalitarian genius" (aka MM) befriended me, had faith in me, trusted me and allowed me to do more and learn more. My supervisor (aka JO) was probably getting tired of me asking to do more and on one occasion where me and another associate had to present something, JO was in the audience. After JO saw me in the "zone", she began to really realize my potential. With MM guiding me, teaching me and sharing knowledge, I began to grow more confident in my new found abilities to facilitate and present. It was also MM, who began to teach me about adult learning principles and instructional designing. I was like a sponge. I sucked up everything she had to show me and began to facilitate classes with her...and even traveled with her.

Based upon the feedback from MO and MM, I gained more and more responsibility. It was JO that suggested that I finish my degree to become a training associate. She promised (yes, I said promised) me, that I would advance in my career, if I could prove to be able to do the same work as the other associates AND finish my degree. I can gladly say, she kept her promise.

In the years to come, I soared! MO left the company. MM got a promotion. I felt a bit alone but I also felt like the baby bird that got kicked out of the nest to learn to fly...and fly I did! I traveled all across the U.S., to Mexico, Canada and Puerto Rico, facilitating and presenting on behalf of our department. The feedback that JO was hearing was great! For about 3-4 years, I was living my dream job and excelling at it! Then...it happened. That thing called "reorganization".