Children are a Product of the Parents

When we look at each other and our behaviors, one must remember we are a composite of not only our parents' DNA, but the neighborhoods reared in, the actions (or reactions) of the adults around us as children, the environment of our home (Was it peaceful? Was it violent? Was it abusive?) and the instructions given (whether it be in school or in the home).

When I read James Baldwin's quote, my first thought was, "How true." My second thought was, "...they have never failed to imitate them, could mean the good AND the bad." Remember this when you look at our current generation...and your OWN children.

I didn't appreciate it as a child, however I now realize the blessing in being reared in a home environment where:
-My parents didn't yell or argue with each other in my presence.
-There was no such thing as "back talk" or "talking back" to my parents. (Unless you wanted to be disciplined.)
-I got "whippins" and suffered no mental or emotional damage from it.
-I was privileged with the balance of a disciplinarian Father and a loving, affirming Mother.
-I was taught to say "Yes ma'am" and "No sir" out of respect, not subservience.
-I never had to think about the mortgage, gas, electricity or water bills. (A long time ago, I asked my Mother, "How come I didn't know about those bills?" Her answer, "You were a child. You didn't NEED to know. You just needed to be a child.")
-I was allowed to play jacks, kickball, badminton, hopscotch, Mary May I, Red Light/Green Light, jump rope, catch lightening bugs in a jar, climb the tree in the front yard, pick vegetables from the garden, plant flowers, ride my bike and have fun!
-I had to be in the house BEFORE the street lights came on.
-There were only 2 televisions and they didn't stay on all day.
-There were no chain smokers, no alcoholics.
-I went to church EVERY Sunday.
-I ate what I was given...PERIOD.
-We didn't eat a lot of processed food. The only processed food I can remember eating was cereal, candy, potato chips, and the occasional TV dinner (because they were a *new thing*).
-Sometimes my Mother let me eat breakfast foods for dinner and pizza for breakfast.
-I didn't know we were "poor" (by national standards). The word was never used in our home. As far as I knew, we were well off.
-My siblings and I had chores that were to be completed every day.
-I was taught to cook by watching my Mother use a gas stove, cast iron skillets, pots and pans. (Microwaves had not been created for domestic use, yet.)

I could go on and on. The experiences above helped me be the balanced, happily married, God-fearing adult I am today. What did you grow up with?

Does God Hear Me When I Can't Find The Words To Pray?

A simple answer to a simple question. Yes!
"26 So too the [Holy] Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance. 

27 And He Who searches the hearts of men knows what is in the mind of the [Holy] Spirit [what His intent is], because the Spirit intercedes and pleads [before God] in behalf of the saints according to and in harmony with God’s will.

28 We are assured and know that [[j]God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.

29 For those whom He foreknew [of whom He was [k]aware and [l]loved beforehand], He also destined from the beginning [foreordaining them] to be molded into the image of His Son [and share inwardly His likeness], that He might become the firstborn among many brethren.

30 And those whom He thus foreordained, He also called; and those whom He called, He also justified (acquitted, made righteous, putting them into right standing with Himself). And those whom He justified, He also glorified [raising them to a heavenly dignity and condition or state of being].

31 What then shall we say to [all] this? If God is for us, who [can be] against us? [Who can be our foe, if God is on our side?]" 

Romans 8:26-31

How Long Do You Pray? (or Wiccans, Christians and Prayer, Oh My!)

This question was recently asked in a forum. Mind you, no where does this forum declare it is Christian based, however, if you were to enter the forum, you would know right away Christianity rules the roost. When the question was asked, "How long do you pray?" Interestingly enough, a wiccan believer spoke up and declared that she prayed, meditated and thanked "the Goddess for her many blessings and for hearing her requests." After four questions from a Christian believer, the wiccan believer was met with reproach and accusations.

People embrace a belief purely and innocently (or ignorantly) based on what they've read or what someone has taught them and most of all, what makes them comfortable. As I read the conversation in the forum, I saw the wiccan believer as a woman who needed to really know who Jesus Christ was. She was a soul that needed to be saved, set free and delivered from the deception of her wiccan belief. Instead of approaching her with the compassion of Christ, she was approached with contempt. "...you are a witch... Female wicca (sp) are witches..." This put her on the defense and the Christian believer just became another close minded Christian that she will no longer trust or listen to. How now, will we win her to the body of Christ? Sometimes as Christians we start condemning the lost, instead of winning the lost. Here me when I say, I am by no means asking anyone to coddle or condone the wiccan belief. In counseling, I've learned you get more answers and information by questioning, than by accusing.

Witchcraft is not just a wiccan thing. Many Christians practice witchcraft and don't even know it. If you are a believer in Christ and you still believe in luck, reincarnation, your daily horoscope, ouija boards and magic (just to list a few), you're operating in witchcraft. I recently found an article titled, "Why Are So Many Christians Practicing Witchcraft?". This blog speaks of witchcraft and the various forms it can take and operate through Christian believers. It's no longer just about cauldrons, black pointy hats and broomsticks. It is about the condition of your heart towards God.

Your prayer life is not measured in minutes, because it is a lifestyle. The bible says, "Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, KJV) This does not mean as a Christian, there is a specific tone, posture or set length of time we must pray, as with some eastern religions. It does not mean non-stop talking. It is a recurring, intimate two-way conversation that allows you to have a God's eye view of the world we live in. If you see the homeless, you pray. If you get a surprise phone call from a friend, you thank God. If your child gets a 4 year scholarship to the college of his choice, you praise God. In this manner of prayer, you are creating a Godly conscience, an intimate relationship with God and an approach to daily living God's way.

I was taught a style of meditative prayer called "lectio divina" (which translates as "divine reading" or in our modern day tongue, "the Word of God") . You read a passage of scripture, you meditate on the passage or maybe even one word within the passage to see what it means in your own life. You then pray and commune with God and finally, you silently think about the scripture and listen to what the Holy Spirit reveals to you. You won't "lectio divina" in the Bible specifically. It is an ancient tradition divinely given by God to a 3rd century theologian and still practiced today.

Who Are You When No Ones Looking?

Years ago the book, "Who You Are When No One's Looking: Choosing Consistency, Resisting Compromise" impacted my life. It caused me to think about my actions when there was no person around to be accountable to. We can easily forget that God is watching every little move we make, even the ones we don't think matter. Am I courageous with out support? Am I disciplined without accountability? Can I endure without complaint? Can I really love unconditionally? I believe the answer to those questions will show you, your REAL "character". The word character can be defined as, "The action you take to carry out the values, ethics and morals that you believe in." As a Christian, we strive to take on the character of Jesus Christ. 

Yesterday, I went to my local supermarket to purchase fruit. I carefully picked over the plums, nectarines and pears until I found the ones without spot or blemish. I go to one of those self check-out lanes, weigh the fruit, key in the code, pay and get the receipt. As I looked at the receipt, it seemed less expensive than I had thought. I looked again and I noticed I keyed in the wrong code for plums. I put in the code for apples instead. My first thought as I picked up the bag was, "Oh, who cares?" Suddenly each step I took felt like slow motion but my conscious was going a mile a minute. "Did anyone notice? Was that captured on camera? Should I ask the cashier about this? Oh no! I'm going to have to wait in line to get this corrected and I don't feel like it!" My feet stopped right in front of a cashier and I told her the mistake I'd made. "You have to go to the service desk to get that corrected." she said. I thanked her. While walking to the service desk, I began to pray, "Lord, I'm really tired but I don't want it on my conscious that I stole money from this store. Please, let there NOT be a long line at the Service Desk?" As I walked to the Service Desk, there was no line. (Hallelujah!) I began to explain that I keyed in the wrong code and may owe more money. As the cashier looked at the receipt she said, "No. I think you're going to get some money back." Lo and behold, I had OVER paid. If the Holy Spirit hadn't pricked my conscience, not only would I have sinned (because of lack of integrity) but I also would have lost out on some money.

Most people wouldn't think this was a big deal. I know whom I serve and He's watching me when no one else is. Who are YOU when no one is looking?

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."  Romans 5:1-5

Well Done My Good and Faithful Servent

Last night, my Brother's MIL (Mother-in-law) passed away. Most folks aren't close to their siblings in-laws, but "Ms. Teresa" was a gem. When a person dies that's close to me, I always have this moment when I wonder if I impacted their lives the way God wanted me to. I can't help it. I have this mental checklist. "Did you pray for her?" Yes. "Did you do everything I told you to do concerning her?" I think so. It's that "I think so" that sometimes worries me.

Ms. Teresa seemed to be about the same age as my Mom and in the duration that I've known her, she's always had some type of ailment. Her youngest daughter (my Brother's wife) lives out of state, so on the occasions where Ms. Teresa is rushed to the hospital, my SIL is usually not in town.

One of the occasions when Ms. Teresa was taken to the hospital, my SIL wasn't there and couldn't fly in immediately. I knew my SIL would be worried. As I prayed for Ms. Teresa, I heard God telling me to go and see her in the hospital. I walked in her room and she was surprised and glad to see me. While there, we talked, I combed her hair, I put lotion on her legs and feet, and fed her because she couldn't use her dominant hand well. I then had Ms. Teresa to make a short video and I sent it to my SIL. She texted me back a thank you and said she was relieved to be able to actually "see" her Mother. (Weeks later I spoke with my Bro. and he told me my SIL kept playing the video I sent her over and over again.) I went to the hospital daily until Ms. Teresa was discharged to a rehab facility. I also visited her once at the rehab facility and she was doing great.

I'll never forget one of the last times we had a Labor Day family get together at my Bro and SILs house. I knew Ms. Teresa (who was also a diabetic) would be there, so I made a sugar free peach cobbler just for her. She was so happy, I thought she was going to cry. She was also impressed with my cooking skills and didn't believe it was sugar free. :)

I've heard it said, folks usually know when their about to die. I think she probably knew over a year ago. There were a couple of instances where she could have just transitioned to eternity, but I honestly think she persevered because her daughter (my SIL) wasn't ready for her to go yet. Our family loved her like she was an Aunt or something. My Mom would make her cookies (sugar free), send cards of well wishes and spoke on the phone with her often. My Mom even went to visit her in the rehab facility just last weekend.

I had heard she had a good day yesterday. My oldest sister visited her and brought her some fresh flowers. Upon my sister's arrival, Ms. Teresa happily said, "I'm going home!" For some reason, I don't think Ms. Teresa was talking about her earthly house.

 My SIL reads to Ms. Teresa over the phone almost every day. My SIL said she had just completed reading the book, "A Lesson Before Dying" to her Mom. Later yesterday evening, she took a turn for the worst, loss consciousness and Ms. Teresa quietly slipped away with one of her daughters by her side.

At the beginning of this post, I had a hint of a doubt that I did all the Lord told me to concerning Ms. Teresa. After writing, thinking and remembering while writing this, I can say with confidence, "Yes, Lord. I did all you told me to do concerning Ms. Teresa."

Last night, after reading the Facebook post my SIL wrote notifying everyone of Ms. Teresa's transition, I wrote this simple line. "In a place where pain will be no more, through heaven's gate your soul will soar."

Before I said, "I do."

Currently, I've been assisting a friend with wedding planning and it has brought back ALL kinds of memories from my own wedding from 15 years ago. I find myself vacillating between wanting to be transparent and telling her the truth and wanting to be merciful and letting her have her "day". She asked me to be transparent, however, I know I can be TOO transparent at times.
Fifteen years ago when I got married, I came to the realization that I didn't want to pay for things people just eventually threw away. I also realized, you can't get passed that. People always want to take some sort of memorabilia away from that day. The program is a must and then you have the favors. That thing that is guaranteed to be thrown away or sit in someones kitchen drawer forever. I hated the thought of spending money on favors. Then you have table coverings. I used whatever the church had in their immediate supply. Why? It occurred to me I didn't want to pay for fabric to cover 12-15 round tables and that same fabric was not mine to take home. That fabric that I paid for was going to probably be paid for and used AGAIN by another bride. Call me cheap, call me frugal, I don't care. A wedding is one day in the rest of your life and what really counts are the people that were there and memories shared.