Today a "king" and an "angel" died. Both of whom made their mark on this earth in unforgettable ways. No one will replace the "king of pop" and about every 10 years the "Farrah feathered flip" hairstyle will come back in style.
When I think of Michael Jackson, I think of how tormented he must have been to disfigure his face. What was the condition of his soul when he died? A man who "loved" children in a way that made any other adult uncomfortable, a man who's behavior was always in question; everyone remembers the pajama bottoms he wore to his court hearing and the way he held his child off the railing of a balcony. I sometimes wonder if we ever got to know the real Michael Jackson because it really looks as if he really didn't get to find that out himself.
Farrah will forever be the golden haired pin up girl of the 80s, who dated Lee Majors and had a torrential relationship with Ryan O'Neal. I watched her documentary, and not to belittle it but there are people on this earth that have the same story or worse. So, why did everyone tune in to hers? Was it only because of her celebrity status? Probably so.
I had a thought I posted on Facebook. I said, "What if the name JESUS was spoken as often as the name Michael Jackson today?!? It would be the start of the first global revival!" What if it grieved GOD to hear the cry, sorrow and grief for a celebrity who has done very little for them (in comparison to what GOD has done for us) and has to be appeased by the one day we give him, once a week? How grievous and jealous GOD must be. 'Nuff said.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
A Funny Thing Happened AFTER I got to the Dr.
Didn't I already blog about pain before? Well, what I went through today is worth another entry.
There have been very few days that I've gone without some type of pain or another for years. From head to toe, on paper, I look horrible. Today, at two different times I showed my Mother and Sister a 5 page history of Dr's, surgeries, medications and therapies that was almost 20 years long. Both said, "Do you think you need to be on disability?". Whooooaaa! I'm not there yet, am I?? I mean, do I look that bad? Am I that far gone? Sheesh! I know sometimes I feel like my brain has suffered some losses though these physical battles...and I'm not as sharp (mentally) as I use to be, but I'm not done yet! LOL
My family physician had seen from my medical records that I have tried everything outside of of a shotgun to put me out of my misery. LOL! I've tried eastern medicine, western medicine, teas, raw foods, organic diet, hydrotherapy, massage therapy, a TENS unit, decompression, hot wax, electrical stimulation, ultrasound, motorized traction, heat, ice, joint mobilization, physical therapy, trigger point injections and a plethora of narcotics and muscle relaxers! After all of that...I am STILL in major pain due to spinal issues. (Oh yeah, surgery is not an option for me and the MRI results stated that I have had a narrow spine since birth. Basically, the Dr's are saying it's a birth defect that's causing other problems and may continue to degenerate over time.) Don't get me wrong! Trusting in Jesus as my Healer is my foundation in all of this. I was just trying to add some "works" to my existing faith...trying to do all the "right" things, I knew to do for my body, so God could do the rest. Believe me! I'm not in denial about what my current situation, I'm just believing that the God that created me can heal me through whatever means necessary!
Today was the most incredibly painful-est (ok...not a word but it IS my blog) thing I've felt in a LONG time. My family physician finally proposed I go to a pain management specialist. It took FOREVER...okay 3 weeks to get the appointment SCHEDULED! Then the actual date of the appointment was still almost 3 more weeks out. I called and got placed on a waiting list for anyone who cancelled and EUREKA! I got in a whole week earlier than originally scheduled. LOL I get an 8am appointment with a 7:15am arrival time (for paperwork of course). When I arrive at the location, I'm a little confused. This place looks like an out-patient surgery center. No matter. The hubby and I enter in, get registered and wait for my name to be called. Lo and behold, as I enter the doors with the kind nurse, I see people awaiting surgery! What the heck?! I'm supposed to be here for a SHOT! ONE shot! When I double check with the nurse, she smiles and says, "Yes, this procedure is done in a surgery room." Procedure?!? I'm getting a SHOT!
We get through more paperwork, more questions, 2 bracelets are slapped on me, I change in to my "designer" robe and then they're sticking an IV in my arm. Ouch!! The first nurse couldn't find a vain, so they call in the "pro" who finds a place in my wrist. She was definitely a pro because I didn't really feel much.
In comes the Dr. (who was a very handsome, pleasant Indian gentleman) asking me a million and one questions. To make a long story short, the pain and numbness was NOT my imagination. A certain disk and vertebrae that was severely bulging seems to be the source of some of my pain. The procedure? Shooting me with a pain killer and steroid, scarily close to an artery and under the vertebrae. Is it dangerous? Heck yes! ANY time you're near the spine, things get a little hairy.
My fashion misfit of a medical bracelet is checked to make sure I am who they think I am and a wonderful, older, gentleman nurse wheels me into the refrigerator of a surgery room. I slide from one bed to the next (which was more uncomfortable than the first) and I'm given some "happy juice" in my IV. Not enough to knock me out but enough so I can't jump or fight back. (Those medical people! Sneaky little buggers!) The handsome Dr makes pen marks on me and a certain area of my neck is sanitized. Over my neck and arm is an x-ray thingy. The first shot in my neck is dye but feels more like ACID BURNING THROUGH MY NECK AND ARM! When I thought it couldn't get any worse, in pumps the medication. I just knew it burned through my skin. I thought my arm and thumb were going to fall off...or I was going to pass out. Thankfully, neither happened.
[Insert sarcasm here] Here's the good part! The procedure I went through? The one I anticipated would give me instant relief? The one I halted 2 rounds of narcotics for?
#1 - May cause the pain to get worse before it gets better.
#2 - Is no where near giving me instant relief.
#3 - Will not give me any results for 5-10 days LATER! Nice.
#4 - May not work the first time and I may have to repeat the procedure in 2 weeks.
15 minutes after being in recovery, I start to get a headache? For real? (Sorry, more sarcasm.) I get 2 Tylenol and some apple juice which may as well been 2 Flintstone chewables. As I exit the surgery center, the headache gets worse...turns into a full blown migraine and I suffer for the next 6 hours! I take a cocktail of meds I already have at home (which could have knocked out an elephant) and finally got some relief...from the migraine. Just after I get the migraine under control, the injection spot, my muscles and my arm pain kicks in like never before! Thank GOD my family was in shifts babysitting me because I was a mess!
At this moment, I have had 4 hours of bearable, mild pain but the "Big Brother Pain" is rearing its ugly head. So, I'm signing off now hoping and praying that in 5 days, I'll be back to a little bit of "normalcy"...and work!
After having blogged all this, I can honestly say, I'm still very grateful to GOD for His love for me. His love is shown to me through my awesome family and friends who spoil me rotten!
Still up for the fight for my life,
Tracy
There have been very few days that I've gone without some type of pain or another for years. From head to toe, on paper, I look horrible. Today, at two different times I showed my Mother and Sister a 5 page history of Dr's, surgeries, medications and therapies that was almost 20 years long. Both said, "Do you think you need to be on disability?". Whooooaaa! I'm not there yet, am I?? I mean, do I look that bad? Am I that far gone? Sheesh! I know sometimes I feel like my brain has suffered some losses though these physical battles...and I'm not as sharp (mentally) as I use to be, but I'm not done yet! LOL
My family physician had seen from my medical records that I have tried everything outside of of a shotgun to put me out of my misery. LOL! I've tried eastern medicine, western medicine, teas, raw foods, organic diet, hydrotherapy, massage therapy, a TENS unit, decompression, hot wax, electrical stimulation, ultrasound, motorized traction, heat, ice, joint mobilization, physical therapy, trigger point injections and a plethora of narcotics and muscle relaxers! After all of that...I am STILL in major pain due to spinal issues. (Oh yeah, surgery is not an option for me and the MRI results stated that I have had a narrow spine since birth. Basically, the Dr's are saying it's a birth defect that's causing other problems and may continue to degenerate over time.) Don't get me wrong! Trusting in Jesus as my Healer is my foundation in all of this. I was just trying to add some "works" to my existing faith...trying to do all the "right" things, I knew to do for my body, so God could do the rest. Believe me! I'm not in denial about what my current situation, I'm just believing that the God that created me can heal me through whatever means necessary!
Today was the most incredibly painful-est (ok...not a word but it IS my blog) thing I've felt in a LONG time. My family physician finally proposed I go to a pain management specialist. It took FOREVER...okay 3 weeks to get the appointment SCHEDULED! Then the actual date of the appointment was still almost 3 more weeks out. I called and got placed on a waiting list for anyone who cancelled and EUREKA! I got in a whole week earlier than originally scheduled. LOL I get an 8am appointment with a 7:15am arrival time (for paperwork of course). When I arrive at the location, I'm a little confused. This place looks like an out-patient surgery center. No matter. The hubby and I enter in, get registered and wait for my name to be called. Lo and behold, as I enter the doors with the kind nurse, I see people awaiting surgery! What the heck?! I'm supposed to be here for a SHOT! ONE shot! When I double check with the nurse, she smiles and says, "Yes, this procedure is done in a surgery room." Procedure?!? I'm getting a SHOT!
We get through more paperwork, more questions, 2 bracelets are slapped on me, I change in to my "designer" robe and then they're sticking an IV in my arm. Ouch!! The first nurse couldn't find a vain, so they call in the "pro" who finds a place in my wrist. She was definitely a pro because I didn't really feel much.
In comes the Dr. (who was a very handsome, pleasant Indian gentleman) asking me a million and one questions. To make a long story short, the pain and numbness was NOT my imagination. A certain disk and vertebrae that was severely bulging seems to be the source of some of my pain. The procedure? Shooting me with a pain killer and steroid, scarily close to an artery and under the vertebrae. Is it dangerous? Heck yes! ANY time you're near the spine, things get a little hairy.
My fashion misfit of a medical bracelet is checked to make sure I am who they think I am and a wonderful, older, gentleman nurse wheels me into the refrigerator of a surgery room. I slide from one bed to the next (which was more uncomfortable than the first) and I'm given some "happy juice" in my IV. Not enough to knock me out but enough so I can't jump or fight back. (Those medical people! Sneaky little buggers!) The handsome Dr makes pen marks on me and a certain area of my neck is sanitized. Over my neck and arm is an x-ray thingy. The first shot in my neck is dye but feels more like ACID BURNING THROUGH MY NECK AND ARM! When I thought it couldn't get any worse, in pumps the medication. I just knew it burned through my skin. I thought my arm and thumb were going to fall off...or I was going to pass out. Thankfully, neither happened.
[Insert sarcasm here] Here's the good part! The procedure I went through? The one I anticipated would give me instant relief? The one I halted 2 rounds of narcotics for?
#1 - May cause the pain to get worse before it gets better.
#2 - Is no where near giving me instant relief.
#3 - Will not give me any results for 5-10 days LATER! Nice.
#4 - May not work the first time and I may have to repeat the procedure in 2 weeks.
15 minutes after being in recovery, I start to get a headache? For real? (Sorry, more sarcasm.) I get 2 Tylenol and some apple juice which may as well been 2 Flintstone chewables. As I exit the surgery center, the headache gets worse...turns into a full blown migraine and I suffer for the next 6 hours! I take a cocktail of meds I already have at home (which could have knocked out an elephant) and finally got some relief...from the migraine. Just after I get the migraine under control, the injection spot, my muscles and my arm pain kicks in like never before! Thank GOD my family was in shifts babysitting me because I was a mess!
At this moment, I have had 4 hours of bearable, mild pain but the "Big Brother Pain" is rearing its ugly head. So, I'm signing off now hoping and praying that in 5 days, I'll be back to a little bit of "normalcy"...and work!
After having blogged all this, I can honestly say, I'm still very grateful to GOD for His love for me. His love is shown to me through my awesome family and friends who spoil me rotten!
Still up for the fight for my life,
Tracy
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Hallelujah in Hebrew While songs by Richard Smallwood ("The Highest Praise") and CeCe Winans ("Hallelujah Praise")... -
Well, it's finally here...2009. I'm really glad because 2008 was "hellish". It was a true "trying of my faith"...