R U Kidding me?

Have you ever been so angry that you can't begin to think of an outlet for the anger?
After the "burning of the nerve" treatment, these daily migraines started. I have a feeling they were always there, I just didn't feel them because I was dealing with a greater pain. These daily migraines are driving me crazy! I just went through 2 weeks of intravenous drug treatment and nothing has worked! I look like a darn junkie!
I honestly don't know how much more I can endure. I have never experienced anything like this in my life. Now I see why people commit suicide over pain. Not that I'm one of them...I just have a better understanding of the need for pain relief at any cost.
I am one of those who is anxiously awaiting the outcome of the healthcare reform. Right now I'm in a very awkward place. I believe my migraines are from nerves being aggravated by the bulging disks or turned vertebrae in my neck. So far, neither neurologist I've seen has given any thought to realigning my neck. I know my chiropractor could do it and it would give me relief (albeit for only a couple of days), however, I seemed to have exhausted my LIFETIME benefit of chiropractic services. Yes...I said, "LIFETIME"! So, I guess if I have any back problems a chiropractor could resolve, it would have to come directly out of my pocket (of which I can not afford). So, I either go to neurologist who will medicate me to death or find money to go to a chiropractor for the rest of my life! Sounds like a no-win situation.
My 40th year of life has been filled with more pain than pleasure. Don't get me wrong...I do thank God for allowing me to live for almost 41 years, I just never anticipated "living" with physical pain. The migraines have had me kind of living in the darkness...literally. Our bedroom windows have been covered for 98% of the summer. My best friend saw me a few weeks ago and remarked at how pale I looked. No wonder. I got very little sunlight this past summer. Because I'm always lying down, the muscles in my body are atrophying and that alone is a painful daily experience that seems to occur at night when I'm trying to fall asleep. If I try to do the least bit of exercise, the room spins and the pain in my head gets worse. It seems like anything I attempt to do to help myself just fails or backfires. This is the perfect set up for a miracle, because I see no natural way out of this situation.
I sometimes wish I could go somewhere like the Mayo Clinic. I'd be in a place where I could really get the undivided attention of professionals and not be medicated to oblivion.
Lord help...saints pray.