My husband was reared with conditional love. He felt he was loved only if he completed a task or act. In the early days of our marriage, I remember showing him that I loved him, no matter if we argued or not. Just because we argue, doesn't mean I'm going to punish him by not preparing dinner or washing his clothes, however, this is what he was accustomed to.
I think many marriages start off with "conditional love". The fiance may think, "If he keeps treating me with wine, roses and song, I'm definitely going to marry him." I'm here to tell you, your marriage has got to have enough stamina and UNconditional love to last beyond the wine bottle going dry, the roses dying and the songs ceasing. Unconditional love is loving the person when TV dinners have taken the place of fine dining, a bouquet of flowers from the floral shop are replaced with a single flower appropriated from the neighbors garden (lol) and the only songs that are sung come from the shower.
In a wedding, your vows should be more important than the decoration. Really? Yes, really! The decor is going to be reused or thrown out, however, your vows are your promise to one another for the REST OF YOUR LIVES. Oh yeah...you know that garble-dee-goop the minister says? The stuff that no one usually pays attention to because they are so enamored by the bride and groom? Your minister/reverend/pastor/priest probably mentioned God in there somewhere. Did you pay attention? Do you know what he/she meant by that? Somewhere in there, you were also vowing a vow to God, and the witnesses were all the people you invited to the wedding. So, you made a vow or promise to each other and God to love. Out of all the other words utilized in wedding vows, I would venture to say, love is probably used in 99% of them.
Thankfully, divorces are on a decline. My hope is that it is due to people being wiser about their reasons for marrying and finding marriage counselling when needed, but unconditional love is the key to a successful marriage.
No comments:
Post a Comment