Custom, Culture and Tradition

I recently watched a video where an individual is "unveiling" how our American holidays are nothing but ancient demonic customs. Take a look. "The Hidden History of Christmas in Christianity Exposed."

I get it. Everything has its roots or origins in something. It may be that the "something" is not in agreement with your particular ethics or religious beliefs. So, what do most people do? They MODIFY it to fit. Let's look at the word "culture". Culture is defined as, "the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively; the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social groups." The use of the word manifestations in this definition is no accident. It speaks of a natural evolution that occurs among groups of people. The use of the word achievement is no accident either. Humans innately strive. Whether it be for good or evil, we are perpetually attempting to improve our state of being.

The United States of America is a blend of indigenous people and immigrants from all over the world. People bring culture and traditions with them. New traditions are created when an individual sees something they like or agree with and begins to practice it themselves. Tradition is defined as, "the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way." Let's take a look at the components of a wedding.

What is the origin of the word wedding? "Wedding" literally meant the purchase of a bride for breeding purposes. The word wedding comes from the root meaning to "gamble" or "wager". The Anglo-Saxon word "wedd" meant that the groom would vow to marry the woman, but it also meant the money or barter that the groom paid the bride's father. This is believed why it is still customary for the father-of-the-bride to "give away" his daughter.

Why do brides wear white at weddings? The tradition of a white wedding dress is commonly credited to Queen Victoria's choice to wear a white court dress at her wedding to Prince Albert in 1840. For almost two centuries, western brides have worn white wedding dresses and probably never knew where the tradition came from. Through the years, the color white was adopted to mean things from virginity to newness. Prior to Queen Victoria's wedding, white was worn as a color of mourning.

Why is there music during weddings? The wedding of Queen Victoria's daughter Victoria, to Prince Fredrick William of Prussia in 1858 introduced choral music to the processional when standard practice had been to have music of any kind only during a party after the wedding ceremony.
What is the origin of the aisle runner? The use of an aisle runner originated out of superstition. It was used as a barrier, protecting the bride and groom from evil spirits that were believed to live under the church floor. Practically, the aisle runner provided a clean area for the bride to walk upon in early days when roads were not paved, as guests could track in a lot of dirt and mud. Traditionally, a white aisle runner symbolizes a “pathway of purity” or walking on “holy ground”. The aisle runner is rolled down the aisle for the entrance of the bride and the bridal party.
What is the origin of flowers being carried come from? Carrying flowers by the bride has its roots in ancient times. Strong smelling herbs and spices were thought to ward off and drive away evil spirits, bad luck and ill health. Garlic and chives were popular for the same reason. During Roman times, this tradition was extended, with the bride and groom wearing floral garlands signifying new life and hope for fertility. The groom is supposed to wear a flower that appears in the Bridal Bouquet in his buttonhole. This stems from the medieval tradition of a Knight wearing his lady's colors, as a declaration of his love.

My point is that custom, culture and tradition are ever evolving components to human life. Try not to be so quick to judge whether it be wrong or right for society based on its origins. PLEASE research it, ask questions about it, however, be wise in your judgement of it.





Otnes, Cele & Pleck, Elizabeth (2003). Cinderella Dreams: the Allure of the Lavish Wedding. Berkeley: University of California Press. p. 31.
Howard, Vicky (2006). Brides Inc.: American Weddings and the Business of Tradition. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press. pp. 157–159.
"Wedding Traditions: The Aisle Runner." Majestic Gardens. Majestic Gardens, 1 Apr. 2013. Web. 26 Dec. 2015.

The Pastoral Challenge: Caring for the Shepherd

It's Pastor (Clergy) Appreciation Month (October) and I can't help but think about all the pastors who would probably appreciate a nice, long vacation. I find it tremendously disturbing when I hear of another pastor that has committed suicide or has quit ministry because of burnout. Pastor/Clergy Appreciation Month (to me) should be more than a gift card, new bible, pen set or flowers. I believe this month should be designed to care of the health (spiritual and physical) of your Pastor and not just gift them with material (albeit, no doubt appreciative) gifts. Pastors need to be wholly healthy. For now, let's just put aside the "shepherd takes care of the flock" mantra and talk about how the flock can take care of the shepherd. Why the need to take care of the Pastor? Look at the following excerpt taken from "Pastor Burnout Statistics":

"According to the New York Times (August 1, 2010) "Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans.  In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen.  Many would change jobs if they could."

• 13% of active pastors are divorced.
• 23% have been fired or pressured to resign at least once in their careers.
• 25% don't know where to turn when they have a family or personal conflict or issue.
• 25% of pastors' wives see their husband's work schedule as a source of conflict.
• 33% felt burned out within their first five years of ministry.
• 33% say that being in ministry is an outright hazard to their family.
• 40% of pastors and 47% of spouses are suffering from burnout, frantic schedules, and/or unrealistic expectations.
• 45% of pastors' wives say the greatest danger to them and their family is physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual burnout.
• Though I can find no specific statistics (I'm sure they are out there), the pastorate is seeing a significant rise in the number of female pastors.
• 45% of pastors say that they've experienced depression or burnout to the extent that they needed to take a leave of absence from ministry.
• 50% feel unable to meet the needs of the job.
• 52% of pastors say they and their spouses believe that being in pastoral ministry is hazardous to their family's well-being and health.
• 56% of pastors' wives say that they have no close friends.
• 57% would leave the pastorate if they had somewhere else to go or some other vocation they could do.
• 70% don't have any close friends.
• 75% report severe stress causing anguish, worry, bewilderment, anger, depression, fear, and alienation.
• 80% of pastors say they have insufficient time with their spouse.
• 80% believe that pastoral ministry affects their families negatively.
• 90% feel unqualified or poorly prepared for ministry.
• 90% work more than 50 hours a week.
• 94% feel under pressure to have a perfect family.
• 1,500 pastors leave their ministries each month due to burnout, conflict, or moral failure."

Seen enough? So, what are some suggestions to prevent this from happening?

• Pastors need an annual hiatus for personal physical and spiritual healing, spiritual cleansing and filling outside of the normal family vacation. A time of refreshing of the body and soul.

"The bow can not always be bent without fear of breaking. Repose is as needful to the mind as sleep to the body. Our Sabbaths are our days of toil and if we do not rest upon some other day we shall break down. Rest time is not waste time. It is economy to gather fresh strength." Charles Spurgeon

• Physical, consistent exercise and proper sleep. Cardio based exercise strengthens the heart, muscles, immune system and adds a general feeling of well-being. Despite the research that our sleep needs decrease with age, The National Sleep Foundation states adults (age 25-64) require 7-9 hours of sleep.
• Have fun! Explore a new interest or hobby. You don't have to do it for a lifetime, try something once. Go spelunking, hiking, fly a drone, go cart racing, try pottery or build a model car. (My husband and I took our former Pastor and his wife to a salsa class and we all had a BLAST!)
• A fresh spiritual discipline. Try lectio divina (an ancient art of studying scriptures), meditation or diving into biblical archeology to get a deeper perspective on biblical life and times.
• Join a small support/prayer group. Ministry peers will better understand your needs; a cross-denominational group will enhance trust and provide needed cultural diversity.

Remember that Pastors were never meant to work any harder than the call placed upon their lives. They are human, not superhuman and just like most things we value, they require the utmost love, respect and care.

How To Endure Waiting: HOPE is the Key

Recently, a dear friend, Dr. Tuesday Tate, released her first book titled, "Waiting, Mastering the UnAvoidable". I had the privilege of reading an advanced copy because I did some proofreading for her. The book has literally changed by posture in regard to waiting, whether it be for people or God.

This morning on YouTube, I ran across a video on child kidnappings and the length of their captivity. I began to pray for those (now) adults and for the freedom of those who are now in captivity waiting to be rescued. Waiting...and waiting...and waiting. I then ran across the story of Jaycee Dugard. Kidnapped as a child at the age of 11, she was held captive for 18 years. While in captivity, she was not only beaten and raped but also impregnated by her captor and gave birth twice. I said, "Lord, how do these children survive this? What makes them want to live day after day in captivity?" Holy Spirit said, "Hope."

I began to research the word hope in the bible. The word hope in Hebrew is "tiqvah" (tick-vah') and it literally means "cord or rope". I am now convinced that the most crucial component to waiting is hope (in the Lord). The Bible says, "... Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?" (Romans 8:24) Hope is that one lifeline that allows you to continue on to an anticipated end. Whether it be a blind beggar (Luke 18:35-43), a woman with a blood-related illness for 12 years (Luke 8:43-48), a man who lost his entire family and material wealth (Job), an invalid for 38 years (John 5:1-9) or being wrongly accused and incarcerated for 10 years (Genesis 39). Are you in a place where your cord is small...or frayed...or short in length? Be encouraged! I have good news! It is not the size of the cord or rope that matters, it is the purity and strength of it. It is the "strength" of your Cord that is the key to survival and endurance. So, while you are waiting...while you are in that "in-between place"; in what "Cord" do you put your trust? The Bible says, "Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." (Romans 5:2-5)

How do you endure waiting? The answer is in Psalm 42:5, Psalm 42:11 and Psalm 43:5. All three scriptures simply say, "Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted (worried, anxious, agitated, disappointed, upset, angered, unnerved, defensive, unsettled, unsure, apprehensive) within me? Hope thou in God; for I shall yet praise him, Who is the help of my countenance, and my God."

"My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness." by Edward Mote, 1797-1874

Of Sand and Sin

While on vacation, I visited a few beaches. It was during my last visit to the beach, prior to vacation ending, that God revealed something to me about sin and sand. In preparation to go to the beach, I took a pair of swim shoes and a pair of flip flops. My intention was to wear the swim shoes in the sand and ocean. Prior to getting back into the vehicle, I would erase all signs of sand from my feet and put on the clean pair of flip flops.

Arriving back home, I was probably the first person to hit the shower. I was surprised to find sand in places that did not "touch" the sand. I NEVER sat down in the sand...not even on a towel or chair, but I found sand in my swimsuit bottoms! Me, being from the midwest and unfamiliar with beaches (and sand) had NO IDEA the sand would follow me home in hidden places. Isn't that just like sin? You think you've gotten away with something only to find remnants of the sin that has not only followed you to your destination but has found places to hide.

To further the analogy, even after leaving vacation and flying 1,650 miles back home, I STILL found sand. In my rush to pack for my early morning flight, I neglected to wash off those swim shoes. I not only brought back the sand from the beach, but I brought back the salty sea water as well; and furthermore, the "sand" is not only made up of grains of rocks and minerals but bits of seashells, turtle shells, glass, and plastic.  Have you ever noticed that when you sin, it's usually a variety of sins together? With the sin comes others like, pride, murder, hate, envy, lying, discord, etc. Now, the sand can be washed away (eventually) with water, however, ONLY the Blood of Jesus can completely wash away sin and all its traces. Trying to live or function amongst sand AND sin can be uncomfortable to the point of pain. We, Believers in Jesus Christ don't have to. For as much as is possible, leave the sand at the beach and give sin no place in your life.

"But if we [really] are living and walking in the Light, as He [Himself] is in the Light, we have [true, unbroken] fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses (removes) us from all sin..." 1 John 1:7 (AMP)

"So repent (change your mind and purpose); turn around and return [to God], that your sins may be erased (blotted out, wiped clean), that times of refreshing (of recovering from the effects of heat, of reviving with fresh air) may come from the presence of the Lord;" Acts 3:19 (AMP)

We Danced the Salsa and Our Marriage Changed Forever!

When my hubby and I took Salsa lessons (about 10 years ago), we learned a very valuable lesson.
Let me share it in story form:
One of our (the hubby and me) favorite movies is, "Dance With Me" with Vanessa Williams. It wasn't so much the storyline that captured our attention. It was the dancing and music. We fell in love with salsa the day we watched it and decided to take classes. We found classes downtown and the first time we went we had a blast, however, our "weak link" began to ooze out. As we danced, he wasn't sure how to lead and I struggled to follow. So, you can imagine me trying to follow and lead at the same time right? We're both looking down at our feet, trying to give each other verbal and physical directions...and it just wasn't working. Our instructor (a 5'4" Asian guy) walked up to us, looked at Patrick and said, "YOU'VE got to LEAD her." Now I'm thinking, "What is this little man going to do with 5'8", who weighed twice as much as he did?" I naturally tensed up not knowing what was about to go down. This little instructor grabbed my hand with so much power, the next thing I knew, I had succumbed to his every cue to step and spin. The more he lead me with authority, the more relaxed I became and following him became natural. It had nothing to do with size, weight, height, who he was, who I was...and it was an awesomely freeing moment.
After leaving the class, my hubby and I both had epiphanies. "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his." (Ephesians 5:22-23) That scripture came alive in our hearts. He was encouraged to lead with authority (Godly power) and I was encouraged to follow (submit). Our marriage hasn't been the same since we danced the Salsa. Enjoy!

GOD Always Gives Newer, Better, Greater

This morning I was reminded of Martha Munizzi's song, "Your Latter Will Be Greater".  "'The silver is Mine and the gold is Mine,' declares the LORD of hosts.  'The latter glory of this house will be greater than the former,' says the LORD of hosts, 'and in this place I will give peace,' declares the LORD of hosts." (Haggai 2:9) Over and over in God's Word, He gives us GREATER than the former. He give us NEW to replace the old:
Grace to grace - John 1:16

·         Faith to faith -  Romans 1:17

·         Glory to glory -  2 Corinthians 3:11

·         Righteousness to righteousness – Philippians 3:6

·         Law to law – Romans 8:2

So undeserving, yet He gives me His best! Halleluia!

"Bless the LORD, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases;…" (Psalm 103:1-2)

"Blessed be the Lord, who daily loads us with benefits..." (Psalm 68:19)

"It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

I looked up the word, "compassions" and found the following in Strong's Concordance:

 רַחַם racham, rakh'-am; from H7355; compassion (in the plural); by extension, the womb (as cherishing the fetus); by implication, a maiden:—bowels, compassion, damsel, tender love, (great, tender) mercy, pity, womb.

Just as a Mother carries, protects and nurtures a baby in the womb, God NEVER fails to do the same for us on a DAILY basis. What manner of LOVE is this? My heart is overwhelmed.

What Should Christians Do About this RFRA Law?

I felt the need to pull back from the over-dramatized media headlines, passive/aggressive Facebook posts, and volatile video interviews demonizing political leadership. This is only an example of the thought process I have taken regarding Indiana RFRA.

I read a statement posted by Pastor Michael K. Jones and would like to address it vis-à-vis RFRA, because those of Christian faith appear varied in opinion (albeit we utilize the same Bible and serve the same God).

"As Christians, we are called to speak the truth in love. Many of us take that as a license to tell it like it is! As important as this is, there is a bit more to the story. Telling it like it is, only describes things and people. As the people of God, we are called to do more than describe, we are called to change the world. So . . . Don't just tell it like it is, that doesn't change anything. Tell it like God says it can be . . . that changes everything." Pastor Michael K. Jones

Pastor Jones makes a very good point, in that Christians are "called to do more than describe, we are called to change". Knowledge is power. (Getting understanding. Proverbs 4:7) Spiritual discernment, MORE powerful. (Hearing what God says concerning it. Mark 4:9) Addressing it God's way...the MOST powerful. (Obedience to what God says. James 1:22-25) So, what does that process look like? This is the process I personally have taken.

1st step - Prayer ("...pray without ceasing..." 1 Thessalonians 5:17). You have to get/have the mind of Christ. If your motive is revenge, shut it down and stay in your lane. "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” Romans 12:19

2nd step - Fully grasping what it is you are desiring to change. Read the facts, not just the headlines. You can't change anything until you are able to describe intelligently what the issue is (as opposed to what the issue COULD be). Among other things, I suggest reading the following:

-Read the Bible (Suggestions only: Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9; Matthew 22:37-39)

-Title II of the Federal Civil Rights Act. 

-Read the Indiana Civil Rights Laws and Regulations (ICRC).

-Federal RFRA of 1993

-Indiana RFRA

-Read definitions of sex and gender

3rd step - Engage in healthy, civil conversation regarding the issue. This is not to polarize one side or the other. Step in the "shoes" of one another. God has given us the grace to disagree, thereby respectfully acknowledging each others perspective. (Thank you, LC!)

4th step - Act. "...faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead." (James 2:14-16) If there is a way for you to support your perspective (without malice, strife, contention, violence, etc.) that will promote the change you seek, then do it. That could be anything from intercession to signing a petition to a blog post.

"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man." Ecclesiastes 12:13

A Hoosier Living in the Land of Indiana's New "Religious Freedom" Law

Unless you've been living in the Galapagos, most have seen or heard of Indiana's new religious freedom law, which is really an amendment to Indiana's civil procedure called, "Chapter 9. Religious Freedom Restoration". This law was very short-sighted. As a Christian, I have the right to say, "I'm sorry, I can't marry you because I'm a Christian and I won't perform a wedding with a buddah shrine and chanting monks because it is against my religious beliefs." and I appreciate that right being protected but, is that discrimination? There are some churches that will not marry you or let you use their facilities because you are not an active member. Is that discrimination? A restaurant owner can put a sign on the storefront that says, "No shirt. No shoes. No service." Is that discrimination? Why is only one of those examples needing the support of a law?

It is because of the "possibility" or fear that this law will be used for what it was never intended, that Indiana will suffer the consequences (via our economy). This law should never have been created, let alone passed. Why? It shouldn't have been necessary. If an establishment doesn't want to serve you, what happened to going to the next one? If a restaurant doesn't want to serve me, I'd rather leave than take the risk that they would put something non-edible in my food. If I want to do something about that incident, report it to the Indiana Civil Rights Commission and let them investigate. The negative press alone will bring that establishment to its knees and make them think twice about discriminating again.

Regarding the labels on the window storefronts? How much more can people overreact? I think the obvious difference between this law and the 1968 Civil Rights Act is color. I have NO "homosexual radar". Unless you are flamboyantly effeminate as a male or masculine as a female, I don't have a clue until you tell me. And even if I know, I just don't care. To even assume someone is gay is idiotic. I go out to eat with my sisters or female friends and if anyone thought we were gay, they either didn't let us know or didn't care.

This law was attempting to fix a "mole hill" and extremist decided to make it into a "mountain". What retail chain of bars, restaurants, hotels, gyms, bakeries, etc. would have the stupidity to reject someone based on race, sexual orientation or gender if they want to maintain their business and create revenue?

Just another law to give Christians a bad rap.

Parental Discretion Is Advised

I recently read an article written by a friend upset that elementary aged children knew more about the primetime drama, #Empire than she did. It's frank, direct, passionate and worth the read.

"...parental discretion is advised." Remember hearing that audible message as a child? If you're over 40 you probably do, if under 40 you may not. That audible message was an alert for parents. (I think my Mother could hear it from the other side of the house because I would immediately have to change the channel or turn the TV off.)  Unfortunately, I believe it was in the 90s that the FCC made TV Parental Guidelines voluntary and no longer mandatory. The audible voice has now been replaced with an icon that is shown 15 seconds before the show starts, but it's one of those things that we don't really "see" anymore OR parents don't even know what it means.

I am not a parent, but I believe parents are savvy enough with social media to not only be aware, but engage the appropriate safety measures to ensure their children do not have access to what they should not watch without parental consent or guidance. If you have cable or satellite television, you can engage the parental safety lock. Yes, it may take time to research how to do it for your system, but aren't your children worth it? Don't allow your children to be taught by "reality" TV,  the "Housewives of blah, blah, blah" franchise or primetime dramas regarding what is socially acceptable or not. As a parent, it is up to you to be the bigger, better influence regarding morals and social graces.

I was talking to a friend a few days ago and I asked her a couple of questions. "When did morality become a relative term?" The words moral and morality have taken on a life of its own. In the 15th century when the word was first used, moral in Latin (moralis) meant "proper behavior of a person in society," literally "pertaining to manners. Today morals have been mostly reduced to what an individual deems as right or wrong in their own mind and from their own experience. All too often I run into individuals with attitudes that say, "It's right as long as you don't get caught."

CLEARLY we are now living in a world that Paul describes in 1 Timothy 4:1-2. "Now the Spirit manifestly saith, that in the last times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to spirits of error, and doctrines of devils, speaking lies in hypocrisy, and having their conscience seared,..." Most of what is currently on television is definitely fulfilled by this scripture. The Eastern Standard Version of the Bible says, "Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared,..." I find it hard to believe any parent or caregiver would want a child to intentionally be misled, lied to or have no conscience regarding morality. Don't allow those errors and lapse in proper judgement to become reality to your child/children.

Pride and Fear; Humility and Trust

I had a revelation that hit me really hard. When I first got married, I thought if I could control the household and finances, my husband and I would be safe. I was reared to be financially responsible, know the importance of getting an education and to be a charitable adult with a full-time job, benefits and a 401(k). I had the better career and the greater salary. The house and cars were in my name. If I could maintain this state, we would be "set" for the rest of our lives...so I thought. I thought by doing these "right" things would please God.

Fast forward 11 years later (2010) and all "my" planning was turned upside down. I realize now that I never fully surrendered a part of my marriage to God. Yes, we both served as leaders in the church, however, I never surrendered my "home". There was a fear of things being out of my control. I wanted to blame my precautionary parents who grew up poor and during the depression era. I tried to declare that I was being a "Proverbs 31 woman". Yep...I tried it! (LOL) I realized that pride based in fear had been gripping me for years. I feared failing marriage...failing the life I thought my parents wanted me to live in order to be successful in their eyes. God humbled me. Those three words alone, make me fall to my knees. Now I know why the Bible says, "Humble THYSELF in the sight of the Lord..." because when HE humbles you, it's a devastating type of love so deep it surpasses your comprehension.

Since 1995, after a devastating car accident I began to have minor back problems. Fast forward to 1998 and once again, another car accident. I never knew two ruptured disks in the lumbar region could be so debilitating. I felt as though I had been living at the chiropractor's office for a few years. I can't really complain because it kept me functioning and able to work. This was the beginning of God humbling me. I no longer had control over anything, especially my body. As years past sometimes the pain was worse, sometimes it was better. By 2008, I began to feel pain in my neck. The diagnosis? Degenerative Disk Disease. An MRI showed almost every disk in my cervical spine was bulging or herniated. By now the medical bills were outrageous...even WITH medical insurance and the pain was getting more and more constant. The final blow was losing my job in 2010 (after 10 years of service) and chronic pain and horrific migraine headaches. Fear really began to grip me. I wondered how my husband and I would survive off of his income alone. It was a time where I kept having to declare that I trusted in God, but the medical bills and finances in general made me a bit fearful.

It has now been 10 years since I've been going through this surrendering season. Having initially been humbled by God, I now humble myself by surrendering all of my life and casting out all doubt and fear to receive His unconditional love for me. Every worry or fear I had, I've watched God turn it completely around for me and my husband's favor. I pray that humility and trust will continually be my "new" normal.

2015

I can't believe this year is 2015, we're in the month of March and on the 13th I will have been married for 16 years! Time sure does fly! From this point forward, I will attempt to be more disciplined in writing on my blog. Stay tuned!