Part 2 | "...in sickness and in health." The part of your marriage vows you can't prepare for.

2018 started off in full speed. Dad was convalescing in a rehabilitation hospital, I was in physical therapy because of my neck, upper back and shoulder pain and my faithful husband was holding down the fort. Dad left the rehabilitation hospital on the iciest winter day of the year. He texted me, "It's good to be home." and I was able to breathe a sigh of relief...temporarily. My pain was increasing, I was sleeping on top of 3 heating pads and my husband was bewildered with worry. In the midst of this, cancer cells were found when the hospital he was treated at biopsied his gall bladder. I was hoping from my Dad's appointments to my own, all while bearing the pain as much as possible. 

Finally, I couldn't bear my own pain anymore. There were a few times that my husband would ask me if I was okay and I would lie and say, yes I knew if I said, "No.", he would try to stay at home from work with me and that would just make me feel even more guilty. The final day of my PT, I drove all the way there and back home through tears. PT wasn't working and they referred me back to my neurosurgeon.  The neurosurgeon that I was working with (for what I thought was a pinched nerve in my neck), dismissed me and referred me to a rheumatologist when (at my last appointment) I complained that PT wasn't working and I was still in pain. Three days later, I landed in the ER (of a research hospital) where they found a Giant Cell Bone Tumor in my cervical spine.

What I thought was going to be a 3-4 hour ER visit ended up being a 10-day hospital stay. This had to be the worst period of my entire life. My husband became like a superhero to me. During my most painful moments in the hospital, God would have him supernaturally appear out of nowhere. I remember saying to God, "THIS is why you chose him as a husband for me." By the time I left the hospital, I couldn't move my left arm,  my right arm was extremely weak and I couldn't care for myself at all. I was like an infant who had to be bathed, clothed and fed. That's exactly what my husband did for almost 6 weeks. He bathed me, washed my hair, clothed me and fed me with such an unconditional Godly kind of love. I don't know of any other man who could withstand all of my sicknesses with such love, patience, kindness, compassion, and grace. And to think, God chose him just for me. 

My gratitude toward my husband far outweighs the guilt I still sometimes get burdened with and one of the biggest blessings that has come out of these past 2 years is that it caused my husband and me to be closer, stronger in faith and in unconditional love for each other. God showed His all-encompassing love for me through my husband.

I love you, Patrick.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”  1 Peter 4:8
“But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.”  Psalm 86:15
“Let all that you do be done in love.”  1 Corinthians 16:14
“So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”  1 Corinthians 13:13