Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Tithing and the Church

(Ok...bear with me. Sometimes my blog go south, so you never know what topic I'll have.)
I found the following blog quite interesting. http://bit.ly/5zfKRq Why? It all started with a conversation I had with my Mother a few months ago. My Mother was vocalizing some disappointment in the behavior of the "saints" in the church. We got on the topic of giving. Do churches coerce or guilt people into giving or are were people never meant to give as often as they're asked to? This was a question I asked my Mother. Her response led me to some further information gathering. She said, "When I grew up, we didn't go to church every Sunday? What I mean is, church wasn't held every single week." "It wasn't?" I said. She continued, "No. We went once a month. The churches all had service once a month." Now in my Mother's small Mississippi town, there were 4-5 churches and 3 different denominations. She went on to say, she grew up going to all different churches because whatever church was having service on that particular Sunday, you would just go. So my mother grew up half Baptist and half Catholic. lol
Side note:
The Catholic church my Mother attended was built by my great-great-great Irish grandfather. My Mother never knew she was attending a church her great-great grandfather built. I went to that church (in Natchez, MS) and the architecture was SO ornate it was hard to believe it was made with human hands. When the church staff found out who I was, I was treated like royalty...or an oddity. Not sure which one. Ha!
Back to the topic. My Mother began to explain how church was more people oriented, not program oriented. There were no mega churches, no Pastors in Mercedes Benz's and mansions, no church staff to be paid. Service (no matter the denomination) was about an hour and the rest of the day was spent visiting friends and relatives. Mind you, my parents grew up in the 30's and 40's and Black people congregating in one place was frowned upon, however, on Sundays it was tolerated.
There was no appeal for offering because as my Mother said, "Back then, we ALL were poor." The community usually built the church, the pews and the pulpit voluntarily, from scraps and donations, so there was no mortgage or rent to speak of. The Pastor had a day job or lived off of the offering from the 4 different churches he may Pastor in 2-3 different towns.
So with all that said, are some churches existing beyond what the congregation can afford to give? If so, shame on the church. How can a person comfortably receive spiritual food when they are being shamed into giving. That does NOT make a cheerful giver.
Oh well...just a little side rant.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

All I Want For Christmas...Is A Miracle

I'll have to admit, I haven't created a Christmas list since I was one digit. It's not like God doesn't know what I want, but when I really began to think about it, it went something like this:
God, please heal:
  1. All of the discs in my neck
  2. The pain from the muscles in my upper back flaring up
  3. The aching of my joints in my hands and fingers that was diagnosed as arthritis
  4. The aching in my hips that was diagnosed as arthritis
  5. The cyst on my left hand
  6. The herniated discs in my lower spine
  7. The torn tendon in my left knee
  8. The cyst in my right knee
  9. The constant swelling in my left ankle, which I believe to be a lymph issue
  10. The wheat allergy
  11. The migraine headaches
  12. The metabolism issue
  13. The hormone issue
All these things are within God's power to heal, so I'll just claim it and wait until it manifest! Please God, put my body back in the balance and harmony that you created it to have.

Finally...breathing again.

Have you ever felt like you had been holding your breath waiting for relief and suddenly you think, "I'm gonna die." but then suddenly you get to take a big, long, deep breath? Okay...maybe you haven't, but that's what my summer felt like. It was so long, so painful but after that last horrible ordeal with the injections in my head, I got to take a deep breath.
Am I 100%? No. My spine is crooked, so my body is very temperamental. I went to church a few weeks back for the first time since about April and I couldn't sit in the seat. Slowly, my left leg and foot went to sleep. I knew it was from a lack of circulation, so I had to get up and leave. The very same thing happened when I attempted to sit in the livingroom with my hubby and watch TV. My leg feel asleep and my back popped and I had to go back to the bedroom and lie down.
When I go to the grocery store (or anywhere for that matter) I know I have about a 1 hour window before my body starts giving me weird, pain signals. I know I need to do something to help my body get back to a more functioning state. Trying to decide what that is, is a bit of a conundrum.
On two occasions I've tried water aerobics. On BOTH occasions, I (somehow) ended up with an injury that made me quit. How do you injure yourself in water, you say? I can only deduce, when you're in the water, your spine expands and that's a good thing. Is it a good thing when the water expands a crooked spine? Not so much. Things then have the space to pivot in the wrong direction.
For now, I take it one day at a time. If I'm able to get out of the house, it's a blessing. If I'm not? Well...I'm just glad I have a home that I'm comfortable in, a husband that adores me and 2 dogs that are my comedy relief.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Superwoman...I am not!

Funny thing happened last Tuesday. Well...it's funny NOW! After 3 weeks of IV pain meds, nothing worked but I did notice an increase in neck pain. The "Headache Dr" sent me back to the "Pain Management Dr". I go to the Pain Management Dr, not knowing what he was going to do. After he speaks with me he decides he will do 4 injections on each side of the occipital bone. He then says, "You can be sedated or not. It's totally up to you and if you don't want it, you don't have to have it." Because he's never said this to me before, it left me thinking maybe this procedure didn't hurt so bad. After all, I just endured 3 weeks of being poked in the hand and both arms. How much more could this hurt, right? So...I decided not to be sedated.
I put on my hospital gown, I'm rolled in the surgery suite and I lay face down on the surgery bed. The nurse begins to sanitize the area from the nape of my neck all the way into my hair line. Meanwhile, I was thinking, "How am I gonna get that stuff outta my hair?"
The Dr. comes in and says,"Okay, this is the numbing solution. Your going to feel a little stick and a little bit of burning." Um....it was NOT so little. OMG! I quickly realized I have NEVER felt a needle penetrate any part of my head before (except for ear piercings), so this is a new sensation that I quickly realize I do not like. After remembering to breathe, I then feel ANOTHER poke. It was a 2nd needle with the medication. Wait a minute! I could hear the liquid squirting in my head!! I quickly realized, I wouldn't be getting 4 injections...I would be getting 8! After the first 2 sets of injections, I really wanted to quit, jump off the table and run out of the room. Had I stopped to yell, "Sedate me now!", I would have delayed the process another 15 minutes. So, I just gritted my teeth and bared the pain. I NEVER want to feel that kind of pain again. It was absolutely excruciating!
To make matters worse, I left the surgery center in as much pain as I came. The soreness wouldn't really go away for about 5 days and the medication would take up to 3 weeks to fully work. :::Heavy sigh::: Just when I think I can't take another thing, God shows me that He created me to be a lot stronger than I think.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

R U Kidding me?

Have you ever been so angry that you can't begin to think of an outlet for the anger?
After the "burning of the nerve" treatment, these daily migraines started. I have a feeling they were always there, I just didn't feel them because I was dealing with a greater pain. These daily migraines are driving me crazy! I just went through 2 weeks of intravenous drug treatment and nothing has worked! I look like a darn junkie!
I honestly don't know how much more I can endure. I have never experienced anything like this in my life. Now I see why people commit suicide over pain. Not that I'm one of them...I just have a better understanding of the need for pain relief at any cost.
I am one of those who is anxiously awaiting the outcome of the healthcare reform. Right now I'm in a very awkward place. I believe my migraines are from nerves being aggravated by the bulging disks or turned vertebrae in my neck. So far, neither neurologist I've seen has given any thought to realigning my neck. I know my chiropractor could do it and it would give me relief (albeit for only a couple of days), however, I seemed to have exhausted my LIFETIME benefit of chiropractic services. Yes...I said, "LIFETIME"! So, I guess if I have any back problems a chiropractor could resolve, it would have to come directly out of my pocket (of which I can not afford). So, I either go to neurologist who will medicate me to death or find money to go to a chiropractor for the rest of my life! Sounds like a no-win situation.
My 40th year of life has been filled with more pain than pleasure. Don't get me wrong...I do thank God for allowing me to live for almost 41 years, I just never anticipated "living" with physical pain. The migraines have had me kind of living in the darkness...literally. Our bedroom windows have been covered for 98% of the summer. My best friend saw me a few weeks ago and remarked at how pale I looked. No wonder. I got very little sunlight this past summer. Because I'm always lying down, the muscles in my body are atrophying and that alone is a painful daily experience that seems to occur at night when I'm trying to fall asleep. If I try to do the least bit of exercise, the room spins and the pain in my head gets worse. It seems like anything I attempt to do to help myself just fails or backfires. This is the perfect set up for a miracle, because I see no natural way out of this situation.
I sometimes wish I could go somewhere like the Mayo Clinic. I'd be in a place where I could really get the undivided attention of professionals and not be medicated to oblivion.
Lord help...saints pray.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Life Without Wheat

Well...life without wheat has been interesting. Since it's the summer, I don't mind eating raw, fresh fruits and veggies. I enjoy wrapping everything from turkey burgers to bacon in lettuce and eating it and I've used tortilla chips and taco shells in the most interesting ways, however, I fear I may have more difficulty as fall and winter begin to creep in and the selection of fresh fruits and vegetables gets less and less appealing. It's almost like I'm destined to loose weight! LOL I find myself absolutely famished ALL the time...and I can't ignore it. Usually, if I'm hungry I can just ignore it and be about my business but recently I've noticed that if I don't eat, my body starts to rebel. I get the worst stomach aches if I don't eat...and it has to be something substantial. You know how people say, if you're hungry just drink a glass of water? No way! My body wants sustenance...and it doesn't matter what time of day or night it happens. I found myself awake at 3:00am fixing grits because my stomach wanted something more than the grape juice I drank. "This is crazy!", I thought. So after about a month of being wheat free, I'm still learning and adapting to it.
The final procedure seemed to have given me some relief, but not completely. The newest pain is the daily neck and headache that makes me both light and noise sensitive. Nice (sarcastically said). Since my neck doesn't have the natural curve it's suppose to have, sitting at my desk and attempting to use my computer is painful after about 2 hours and it doesn't seem to matter how much I adjust the monitor or my chair. The only position that is the most comfortable is flat on my back with an ice pack behind my neck making it curve. Thank GOD I work from the comfort of my own home because if I didn't, I'm afraid I wouldn't be working at all.
Beside the neck and headache, I now have nightly body aches from my lower back to my lower extremities. I honestly think my muscles are wasting away. The only way I can fight it is with mild stretching because there is no way I can exercise right now. Ahhhhhhhgggggggg!!!!!! My body is getting on my nerves. It feels so "broken" and it feels like I'm not really living life right now. If feels like I'm just "existing". How sad, but since I'm still on this Earth I guess GOD is not through with me yet.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Update: Allergic Reaction

My allergic reaction in my "Let Me Tell You About The Time I Almost Died" blog was caused by a sudden allergy to wheat. I found out 2 weeks later I was allergic to cats, dogs and wheat. Since I've had dogs for the past 10 years, I doubt it was my dogs that set off my allergic reaction. The proof that it was the wheat, was me wheezing the weekend I ate some peach cobbler. After taking children's Benadryl, I was completely fine. Now I have an entire lifestyle change occurring in my eating. I'm now a "wheat-free" eating girl!

Can you bear it?

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." I can honestly say I've questioned this scripture over the past few months. Having had to bear excruciating pain like I've never experienced before in my life made me ask God, "So you think I can bear this?" Now only having come out on the other side a few times, have I realized and been assured, qith God's help...yes...I can.
I had the final procedure Tuesday. Cervical Facet Neurotomy... and it was the craziest thing I've ever experienced on an operating table. I had no anesthetic...via IV or local. I had 4 large hollow needles probing along my cervical spine to find the nerves that were causing me to experience the most pain. Never in my life have I ever HEARD a needle poking it's way threw layers of skin, sinew, tendon and muscle. It was like small pops in my ear. When I began to explain it to my husband he asked jokingly, "Was it like that guy on "The Hulk"?" My husband was speaking of a part in the movie where the "hulk" formula was being injected into a soldiers bone marrow. It make the most sickening pop that almost made you feel it. "No way!" I said.
With each needle, the Dr had to poke certain parts of my nerves and then send a jolt of electricity to see exactly what responded. So, there were times where my head, neck, arm and hand jumped from the charge. "Well that's not it." the Dr. would say.
Oh by the way, remember I'm doing this with no anesthetic. Why? The Dr needed me to feel what he was doing. Each time seemed to last forever and even though I moaned and groaned throughout the procedure the entire staff said I did really well. I can only imagine what the patients that didn't do so well did. There were times I felt like leaping from the table and running out the operating room door...hospital gown, footies and all! (LOL) My analytical side was too curious to move...it actually wanted to experience what was going on. My other side kept calling on Jesus and trying to be courteous to their trivial questions like,"Do you have any children?", "So, what do you do?".(LOL!!) I know they were trying to keep my mind off of what was happening but that tactic wasn't really working, I was just appeasing them with answers.
Finally...after the Dr found this 4 targets,then came the burning of the nerves. Did I feel it? HECK YEAH!!!! Could I hear it? No. Did I smell it? No. Finally, after the 4 nerve was burned, he injected something to numb the area. I could hear the fluid as it was squeezed from the syringe and entered my body. I felt it when he pulled the hollow needles from my neck and a cool fluid fell on my neck. I have a feeling the fluid was my own blood. After 2 band-aids were applied, I was wheeled out of the OR and into recovery.
In recovery, I just chatted with my Mother. Initially, I didn't think there was really anything to recover from because I had no anesthesia and the pain hadn't quite it me yet. Just thirty minutes later, I asked for Percocet and an ice pack. for the next 48 hours Percocet and ice were my best friends. The pain was excruciating and I cried out of frustration a couple of times, however, three days later I no longer needed the ice pack and I traded in my Percocet for Vicoprofen.
One thing I didn't anticipate was an addiction to pain killers, but after being on a narcotic around the clock for almost 5 months, I should have expected it. The way I know I'm addicted is because when I miss my dosages thru the night, I get the most hellacious migraines ever. Last night was a 3 hour marathon of moaning, groaning and crying in pain. I think it started at 2pm. My precious, loving husband, prayed over me, massaged me, spoke sweetly to me but that migraine was not shaking loose. He made me take a hot shower, drink apple juice and wanted me to eat but even chewing seemed to hurt at that time, so I couldn't. I initially took a migraine medication but that didn't help. An hour later I took an over the counter medication for Migraines but that didn't work either. Out of frustration, an hour later I took the narcotic and slowly (and I mean SLOWLY) the headache began to dissipate. I'm not sure my husband ever went back to sleep. All I know is I woke up at 7:42am with no migraine, no appetite and almost afraid to move.
Only God could know I would be able to bear so much pain in the last 5 months because I sure couldn't. My prayer now is that the procedure was successful (I really won't know until 3 weeks) and my body will be weaned from the narcotics safely and totally.
This has been occurring the entire summer of 2009 and this has been my trial to bear. If I can bear mine, I'm sure by the grace of God, you can bear yours as well.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Let Me Tell You About The Time I Almost Died

For you Denzel Washington fans who can recall the movie "Fallen", only you will be able to appreciate the dark humor of my title.
I guess you could say, it all started on Sunday morning...no early Monday morning. I had the most horrific migraine...and of course it was storming like nobody's business. There's something strange about migraines and barometric pressure that my body doesn't like. I wonder if I could get a side gig as a "weather vane" or "weather consultant" because my migraines are more dependable than the weatherman.LOL
Anyhoo, before I knew it, it was 6:00am. Time to take the meds. I go in the kitchen and grab a bowl of granola, pour in soymilk and I let it sit for about 20 minutes. I know...I know...it's weird but I like it a little soggy. Okay A LOT soggy! I eat my bowl of granola and 3 minutes later I start coughing, then suddenly my sinuses clog up and I sound as if I'm talking while holding my nose. Then the back of my throat feels like it's closing in on me...then I was trying to fill my lungs with air but it wasn't working. "Oh God, what's happening to me?" My husband immediately jumped up and started dressing. While in the midst of chasing a breath that seemed to outrun me, I jump up, throw on the first thing I see, slide on my flip flops, grab my purse and beat my hubby to the door. Now I can't hardly swallow. "Hurry, hurry." I managed to gurgle while still trying to catch my breath.
In the car everything became surreal. I remember thinking, "Lord, what should I do.". The answer quickly came to mind, "Take as deep of a breath as you can...consistently." I started doing just that and quickly it seemed to improve, even if only a little.
We get to emergency and thankfully nurses and Dr's are trained to notice when a person comes in unable to breathe. As a matter of fact, I think I knocked everyone out of their boredom. (I later heard it had been slow since about 1am.) Now what I didn't understand is why the nurse was posing questions to me...ya know...the one that CAN'T HARDLY BREATHE let alone talk. I tried to answer her as best I could. I began to realize I had slipped into this..."other space or place". I had drifted into "surreality". I could see, hear and respond but it was through a haze or veil. There was a part of me that was so tired, I wanted to just slide to the floor. Yet there was a strength that wasn't my own that kept me lucid and in the moment. I know it was Jesus because Tracy wanted to just...stop...and take a quick nap...that may not have been quick at all.
My full consciousness didn't come until I was given a steroid and Benedryl through and IV drip. I know what life is. Life is that wonderful full capacity of air I breathed. I have a whole knew perspective on the worship song that says, "You are the air I breathe...and I'm lost without You."
Okay, so it may have not been as dramatic as my title alluded to, however, as one who has never experienced any like that before in my life, it was pretty dramatic to me. I think I have a bit of a clue of what asthmatics and people with allergies go through when they are in distress and I never want to experience that again.
When we returned home from the hospital 2.5 hours later, it didn't just rain, it downpoured and our power went out for 12 hours. That's okay...my husband and I needed the rest from such an active morning.
Now when I think about the scripture that says, "This is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it."...whenever I begin to complain too much, I think of that scripture and the very fact that even though my day got off to a rough start, I lived to rejoice and be glad in it.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Pain, Part 3

So, what's the latest? A "cervical epidural steroid injection". I have never in my life felt anything like it before and I don't want to feel it again. It felt like someone was injecting acid into me and it ran from the place of injection all the way to my leg! Thankfully, that sensation lasts less than 45 seconds because when I felt it, it shocked me so much I held my breath. Having endured the pain of that injection...it didn't work. Oh...and by the way, that was the 2nd attempt and the Dr did it while I was face down on an operating table.
So...yesterday, the Dr did something similar except he did it around 3 facet joints in my neck. Yeeeeaaahhh...I got to feel that sensation 3 times. Yippee! Oh yeah...and I'm awake the entire time! They only give you enough "happy juice" so you can't swing at them or jump off the table but it felt like liquid FIRE! (It gave me a new reference for the phrase, "like fire shut up in my bones". lol) I'm glad I was warned that I would feel worse before I felt better, however, I got a little bit of a reprieve from the pain a couple of hours after the procedure and started planning my day (the NEXT day, that is). Wow! If I feel this great, I'll clean the house, drive for the first time in almost a month, vacuum, etc, etc, etc. I woke up this morning and wasn't diving for the Percocet bottle, so I thought I was on the road to recovery. I felt GREAT! Then 4 hours after that, the pain came back with a vengence! I don't know if I was crying out of pain or anger and disappointment. I guess this was that "feel worse before better" stage. I have a full serving of pain with a side of fatigue (for no good reason) and a dash of disappointment. I rolled my eyes at the Vicoprofen bottle and begrudgingly took my normal dosage. I guess I should be grateful because at least I wasn't grabbing the Percocet bottle. I grab my usual artillary against pain...moist/heating pad, re-heatable bean bag, and an ice pack. (The ice pack is for the injection sites. I look like I've been bitten by a 3 fanged vampire!)
Now I wait for another 5-10 days to see if these injections will get rid of the pain. If not, the next procedure is called a "cervical radiofrequency neurotomy". Now this one scares me a little because it is literally burning the nerve at the point of pain. I'm not so sure I like that because I may need that nerve to warn me of pain in the future, ya know what I mean? What are the risks? Infection, nerve damage (to the wrong nerve), numbness...yadda, yadda, yadda.
I see now how people get addicted to pain killers. I often wonder if I am or not. I don't suspect I am because I'm always torturing myself and periodically halting my dosages to see if the pain is really still there or not. I don't like taking pills and now having to take them at 4-5 hour intervals is just ticking me off! I take the meds, an hour later I'm sleepy as heck, I only sleep about 45 minutes, I wake up long enough to eat, go to the bathroom and check my Facebook page and the cycle starts ALL over again. I'm glad www.hulu.com exists because rarely am I able to view a one hour show without falling asleep. Reading? Fahgetaboutdit! I never get passed 2-3 pages and usually end up reading the same pages at least twice before I just give up. Then I thought, books on tape is the way to go...well...same response as watching TV. I fade to black and never hear the complete book.
So, what's a girl to do? I hulu, I cry...and I pray...myself to sleep. Tee-hee!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Michael and Farrah

Today a "king" and an "angel" died. Both of whom made their mark on this earth in unforgettable ways. No one will replace the "king of pop" and about every 10 years the "Farrah feathered flip" hairstyle will come back in style.
When I think of Michael Jackson, I think of how tormented he must have been to disfigure his face. What was the condition of his soul when he died? A man who "loved" children in a way that made any other adult uncomfortable, a man who's behavior was always in question; everyone remembers the pajama bottoms he wore to his court hearing and the way he held his child off the railing of a balcony. I sometimes wonder if we ever got to know the real Michael Jackson because it really looks as if he really didn't get to find that out himself.
Farrah will forever be the golden haired pin up girl of the 80s, who dated Lee Majors and had a torrential relationship with Ryan O'Neal. I watched her documentary, and not to belittle it but there are people on this earth that have the same story or worse. So, why did everyone tune in to hers? Was it only because of her celebrity status? Probably so.
I had a thought I posted on Facebook. I said, "What if the name JESUS was spoken as often as the name Michael Jackson today?!? It would be the start of the first global revival!" What if it grieved GOD to hear the cry, sorrow and grief for a celebrity who has done very little for them (in comparison to what GOD has done for us) and has to be appeased by the one day we give him, once a week? How grievous and jealous GOD must be. 'Nuff said.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

A Funny Thing Happened AFTER I got to the Dr.

Didn't I already blog about pain before? Well, what I went through today is worth another entry.

There have been very few days that I've gone without some type of pain or another for years. From head to toe, on paper, I look horrible. Today, at two different times I showed my Mother and Sister a 5 page history of Dr's, surgeries, medications and therapies that was almost 20 years long. Both said, "Do you think you need to be on disability?". Whooooaaa! I'm not there yet, am I?? I mean, do I look that bad? Am I that far gone? Sheesh! I know sometimes I feel like my brain has suffered some losses though these physical battles...and I'm not as sharp (mentally) as I use to be, but I'm not done yet! LOL

My family physician had seen from my medical records that I have tried everything outside of of a shotgun to put me out of my misery. LOL! I've tried eastern medicine, western medicine, teas, raw foods, organic diet, hydrotherapy, massage therapy, a TENS unit, decompression, hot wax, electrical stimulation, ultrasound, motorized traction, heat, ice, joint mobilization, physical therapy, trigger point injections and a plethora of narcotics and muscle relaxers! After all of that...I am STILL in major pain due to spinal issues. (Oh yeah, surgery is not an option for me and the MRI results stated that I have had a narrow spine since birth. Basically, the Dr's are saying it's a birth defect that's causing other problems and may continue to degenerate over time.) Don't get me wrong! Trusting in Jesus as my Healer is my foundation in all of this. I was just trying to add some "works" to my existing faith...trying to do all the "right" things, I knew to do for my body, so God could do the rest. Believe me! I'm not in denial about what my current situation, I'm just believing that the God that created me can heal me through whatever means necessary!

Today was the most incredibly painful-est (ok...not a word but it IS my blog) thing I've felt in a LONG time. My family physician finally proposed I go to a pain management specialist. It took FOREVER...okay 3 weeks to get the appointment SCHEDULED! Then the actual date of the appointment was still almost 3 more weeks out. I called and got placed on a waiting list for anyone who cancelled and EUREKA! I got in a whole week earlier than originally scheduled. LOL I get an 8am appointment with a 7:15am arrival time (for paperwork of course). When I arrive at the location, I'm a little confused. This place looks like an out-patient surgery center. No matter. The hubby and I enter in, get registered and wait for my name to be called. Lo and behold, as I enter the doors with the kind nurse, I see people awaiting surgery! What the heck?! I'm supposed to be here for a SHOT! ONE shot! When I double check with the nurse, she smiles and says, "Yes, this procedure is done in a surgery room." Procedure?!? I'm getting a SHOT!

We get through more paperwork, more questions, 2 bracelets are slapped on me, I change in to my "designer" robe and then they're sticking an IV in my arm. Ouch!! The first nurse couldn't find a vain, so they call in the "pro" who finds a place in my wrist. She was definitely a pro because I didn't really feel much.

In comes the Dr. (who was a very handsome, pleasant Indian gentleman) asking me a million and one questions. To make a long story short, the pain and numbness was NOT my imagination. A certain disk and vertebrae that was severely bulging seems to be the source of some of my pain. The procedure? Shooting me with a pain killer and steroid, scarily close to an artery and under the vertebrae. Is it dangerous? Heck yes! ANY time you're near the spine, things get a little hairy.

My fashion misfit of a medical bracelet is checked to make sure I am who they think I am and a wonderful, older, gentleman nurse wheels me into the refrigerator of a surgery room. I slide from one bed to the next (which was more uncomfortable than the first) and I'm given some "happy juice" in my IV. Not enough to knock me out but enough so I can't jump or fight back. (Those medical people! Sneaky little buggers!) The handsome Dr makes pen marks on me and a certain area of my neck is sanitized. Over my neck and arm is an x-ray thingy. The first shot in my neck is dye but feels more like ACID BURNING THROUGH MY NECK AND ARM! When I thought it couldn't get any worse, in pumps the medication. I just knew it burned through my skin. I thought my arm and thumb were going to fall off...or I was going to pass out. Thankfully, neither happened.

[Insert sarcasm here] Here's the good part! The procedure I went through? The one I anticipated would give me instant relief? The one I halted 2 rounds of narcotics for?
#1 - May cause the pain to get worse before it gets better.
#2 - Is no where near giving me instant relief.
#3 - Will not give me any results for 5-10 days LATER! Nice.
#4 - May not work the first time and I may have to repeat the procedure in 2 weeks.
15 minutes after being in recovery, I start to get a headache? For real? (Sorry, more sarcasm.) I get 2 Tylenol and some apple juice which may as well been 2 Flintstone chewables. As I exit the surgery center, the headache gets worse...turns into a full blown migraine and I suffer for the next 6 hours! I take a cocktail of meds I already have at home (which could have knocked out an elephant) and finally got some relief...from the migraine. Just after I get the migraine under control, the injection spot, my muscles and my arm pain kicks in like never before! Thank GOD my family was in shifts babysitting me because I was a mess!

At this moment, I have had 4 hours of bearable, mild pain but the "Big Brother Pain" is rearing its ugly head. So, I'm signing off now hoping and praying that in 5 days, I'll be back to a little bit of "normalcy"...and work!

After having blogged all this, I can honestly say, I'm still very grateful to GOD for His love for me. His love is shown to me through my awesome family and friends who spoil me rotten!

Still up for the fight for my life,
Tracy

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Grace - God's Unmerited Favor

I'm a big baby...when I'm sick. When I'm not sick I'm the "road runner". "Meep! Meep!" Get out of my way because I'm always on a mission to go somewhere or do something. I don't like sitting still, however, God keeps habitually slowing me down. I have had more physical challenges that I ever thought I'd have in my life! My sister says everytime I go thru an illness or physical challenge, I come out spiritually stronger. My question is, "Lord, how strong do you need me to be?" The scripture, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." is developing a whole different meaning to me.

When I think of the grace (unmerited favor) of God, I think of:
-My loving, caring parents who would do anything for me.
-A husband who loves me.
-An employer that understands the word "patient", even when the patient is an employee.
-A home that is my haven and comfort.
-A chihuahua that seems to be connected to my emotional state. When I'm down, he always does something to make me laugh.

'Nuff said. That's all I want to think about today. I just want to be grateful to God for his many blessings.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

Although I'm glad to see there is a "Fibromyalgia Awareness Day", I wondered just how much was actually being done to make people aware. I have to admit, I really wasn't sure if it was an actual disease or just the over active imagination of people who just didn't want to work. That was until I started suffering from it myself.

Fibro crept up on me because I had so many other aches and pains I was dealing with. Never once did I think the sum of all that was aching added up to fibromyalgia. This makes the second diagnosis I've gotten that has no cure. The first being PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome).

I noticed at the beginning of last year that it was beginning to be harder for me to wake up early. Or if I woke up early, I woke up tired. I did a self diagnosis and contributed to my obesity or poor eating habits. Suddenly, I started having episodes of sleepless nights. Not too funny when you have to work a full 8 hours the next day. I contributed my strange sleeping pattern to just getting older. After all, I watched my mother go from being an early riser to now sleeping until 9am. I just thought I was following my mother's pattern.

Another symptom I noticed was that my memory was not what it use to be. I took pride in remembering little details from 5, 10, 20, 30 years ago. Suddenly, it was hard to remember things from one day to the next. This made work very difficult, so I started frantically taking notes and setting reminders. I was totally frustrated with myself but dare not mention it to anyone else. I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy. Only recently have I realized the sum of all the symptoms I was having was fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed earlier this year, but I was in denial. Since I had DDD (degenerative disk disease) going on, I was contributing everything to that. As of Monday, my Dr told me my DDD and my fibro are colliding with each other and are the cause of the pain, discomfort, migraines, mental fogginess and sporadic sleeping pattern. Could I be any more uncomfortable????

Fibro is still such a mystery, I think there are a lot of people (like I use to be) who still don't quite believe it "exists". The pain in my body tell me SOMETHING is wrong, however, physicians and experts have yet to pinpoint the source of the pain. I've tried natural therapies, physical therapy, moist heat, exercise and none of it worked. Now, I'm trying different medications in the hope that I will soon experience some sort of "normalcy" and be able to work.

Right now, I have little or no attention span, severe muscles spasms in my upper back, migraines, fatigue, neck pain and sporadic sleeping pattern. The combination of all these symptoms equals misery. Because of the pain in my upper back, shoulders and neck, I had my husband cut all my hair off. I have no strength or ability to maintain the length that my hair was. I feel sleepy or tired ALL the time and there are many days where I get up, take a shower and slip right back into a clean pair of pajamas. I have no attention span to read a book, so either I'm watching TV, watching shows via my laptop or the TV is watching me. I feel as though I have accomplished something if I'm able to stay awake for an entire movie. The ringer on the phone in my bedroom is off, so even if I hear it ring, I sometimes am not in the mood to even hold a conversation. Have I fallen in to a type of depression? Anything is possible.

Currently, I'm taking a new fibromyalgia medication that has a 28 day regimen. I'm hoping and praying I will see results soon and go back to some resemblance of my "normal" life, even though most fibro info says you never get back to 100%. In the meantime, I have to help my husband think about the future, the possibility of me not being able to work my current job and our financial state. Not the most pleasant topic of discussion but a necessary one nonetheless.

Throughout this ordeal, I'm learning that I have to take care of ME first. I only have one life to live with one body and I have to do what's best for ME.

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Season...it is a-changing!

I LOVE Spring and Fall in Indiana. The foliage is just beautiful. Maybe if I was one of those allergy sufferers, I probably wouldn't be so happy about it. Thankfully, I'm not (knock on wood). I can always tell the season is changing because...
- my dogs eating pattern changes
- my dogs start shedding their winter coat and my lint/hair roller gets a serious workout...and I usually have to buy more of them!
- the flowering trees turn into different shades of white, pink and yellow.
(Sidebar: At my former home, the previous owner had planted 2 dogwood trees (1 pink and 1 white) together and the trunks had twisted around each other. That tree is so beautiful in the spring, I may have to go and stalk my old house, just to take a look at it and the huge lilac bush that is in the front yard.)
- the sun comes up earlier...and I LOVE IT!
- and in about a month the doggone school buses will cease to run for the summer.

The weather has been a bit "freaky" this week. Tuesday the high was 40 and we had snow flurries...today, it's going to hit 80! I'm so glad I work from the comfort of my own home office. I haven't had one cold or sinus infection since last year! One of the many perks of working from home.

On another note...I live in a development that's still developing and when the weather gets better, more construction seems to happen. Note to self: NEVER move into a housing development that is not any more than 80% complete. Here are the top 10 things that make me NEVER want to move into an undeveloped neighborhood.
1. No trees means, no birds, no squirrels, no wildlife. I personally like a little wildlife around me.
2. The wooded areas where you use to take walks with the dog are torn down.
3. The construction worker's "chatter"...in English AND Spanish.
4. The construction worker's trash left behind from their lunch, snacks and drinks.
5. The mini-earthquakes from the HUGE construction vehicles that make your house rumble.
6. The disruption of your cable lines.
7. The disruption of electricity and the many times you have to reset your clocks!
8. The damage done to your yard from the many delivery trucks.
9. Mysterious spray painted lines and dots that appear in the yard from someone determining how the water, sewer and electrical lines run.
10. You can't keep you're car clean because of all the dirt and dust that's constantly kicked up during construction!

Let the buyer (of a house) beware! New developments suck you in with the model homes and the beautiful videos of what the neighborhood should eventually look like but they NEVER talk about the construction mess that goes along with developing the other homes and how it affects you. I guess in this recession, you just grin and bear it because you definitely can't sell your home for a profit. Ha!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Milk, homosexuality and AIDS...oh my.

I just saw the movie, "Milk" today. It centers around the political life of Harvey Milk, the 1st openly gay political official elected in California. Funny how the life of any leader (e.g. King, Kennedy) that goes against the grain ends in his death. I applaud any visionary that has the passion to wrestle against politics to see their vision to its fruition.
My mind tends to wonder through memories by way of timelines or decades...and I'm often left wondering if one event was the cause of another. There is no doubt that Harvey Milk liberated homosexuals from the proverbial "closet" in the early 70s. It is said by 1969 San Francisco had more gay people per capita than any other American city. A little over a decade later, HIV reared its ugly head and initially hit the gay community with the power of a sonic boom. Was this sudden liberation of sexual same-sex freedom the cause of the worst human pandemic since the Black Plague? Considering the decade this occurred, we can't only blame "same-sex" sexual promiscuity. The "flower" children contributed and relished in this freedom as well.
Out of all this sexual freedom came not only HIV, also HPV (human papilloma virus). I can remember as a youngster hearing, HIV as the "homosexual disease" and HPV as the "heterosexual disease". I think both scared me into abstinence and if I were single today, I would probably STILL be abstinent.
in the 80s, it seemed as though the gay community took the quickest action in deterring and educating people on HIV. Unfortunately, by the 90s another term appeared in the African-American community..."down low". This was a term coined for males and females who claimed they were heterosexual, while partaking in homosexual acts (unbeknownst to their partner). It is said, as long as you are the "receiver" and not the "giver", you considered yourself straight. This mentality had the CDC visiting many HBCU campuses, where fraternity brothers would have to list other fraternity brothers they had sex with. This "down low" mentality has continued on into heterosexual marriages, only to destroy them in the end. I even have first hand experience of dating 2 "down low" men. One is still "closeted" (or he thinks he is), the other is now openly homosexual.
This is my bottom line on all homosexual topics. I do believe it is a sin, however, if you live that lifestyle, it is between you and your God. I have yet to meet a gay person I didn't like or who didn't like me. What I don't like are the lewd, blatant stereotypes and sexual overtones demonstrated in anything impressionable children watch. I don't like the fact that homosexuals can have a parade where they are clearly breaking the law of indecent exposure. Have the parade...have 100 parades...but can you please cover yourselves up? SHEESH! I wouldn't mind taking my young great nieces or nephews to a gay pride parade. I think it would be rather educational and historical. What I WON'T do, is expose them to more T&A than I have on my own body. I just don't get the point of all the nudity. I honestly think it gives exhibitionist an opportunity to streak legally. lol
Ok...I must be done with this blog, my mind is starting to wander. lol

Monday, March 09, 2009

Hmmmmmmm....

Those are my thoughts when I think about how quickly President Obama is making good on some of his campaign promises. I'm not so sure, how I feel about what he's doing right now.
- He said he's moving 12,000 troupes out of the Middle East over the next 6 months. So...when they come back home, is he providing them employment as well? With the employment rate skyrocketing, I'm not real positive they will find immediate employment. Unemployment + Post traumatic stress disorder/syndrome = NOT GOOD!
- Stem cell researchers are probably shoutin' "halleluia" because President Obama reversed the ban President Bush placed on embryonic stem cell funding. I'm sure individuals that are or have loved ones who suffer from a host of ailments (e.g. parkinson's disease)are more than excited...but is this another form of abortion or are abortion clinics going to now have another steam of income?

So...am I the only person that's a little worried

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Life IS like a box of chocolates!

2008 was such an unexpected year for me. I spent it more IN pain than out. On top of all that, I only worked about 4 months out of the entire year. Don't get me wrong, most people would have loved to have been off work for most of the year, however, not in pain!
Because of what 2008 was like, I braced myself entering 2009. More pain, more therapy, more trips to the chiropractors office, more medical bills created. How do people with disabilities survive financially? Am I scared? Terrified! I don't know how much longer I'll be able to work. My illness could take a turn for the worse at any given time. It gives me a greater appreciation for life...one day at a time.
Do I have good days? Of course! Do I have bad days? Definitely! Sometimes they last days long. I think because I act so "normal" when I'm out of pain, people seem to think I'm on the upswing or cured. Not so much. The hardest thing about it, is how totally out of control I feel regarding my body. It seems to have a mind of its own and pays me NO attention.
I'm beginning to realize how much it tends to rule my life. I haven't been on a real vacation because I'm not sure how my back would survive an airplane flight, I tend to not stray too far from home because I feel like I need to be within reach of my chiropractor to twist my spine back to it's intended shape. I can't plan things in advance because there's the possibility that I may cancel because my body is rebelling.
I want my life back...I want my health back...and I want my body back, so I'm on a mission to be as "normal" as possible...whatever that means and whatever it takes.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Las Vegas Was Waiting!

So, let me tell you what happened to me this time last year. This time last year I was in a consistent habit of water aerobics 3 times a week, I had already been on a business trip to Toronto (Yeah...in the dead of winter!) and was on my way to Las Vegas to celebrate my sister's birthday. One day before leaving Las Vegas, as I was getting dressed for work, "something" slipped in my back. The pain was excruciating and I couldn't move. As one with a history of lumber disk herniations, I thought it was just another "episode". Ice pack and flat on the back...that's the normal routine when that happens. After all, I HAD to get back on my feet, Las Vegas was waiting!

The very day, I was to leave for Las Vegas I had a second episode...same as the first. This time with no hubby to assist me to the bed, I crawled to the bed chanting, "I think I can! I think I can!", popped enough Lortab to knock an elephant out and layed very still for about 30 mins. I couldn't just LAY there right? Las Vegas was waiting!!

My sister (who's birthday we were celebrating) had NO clue what I was going through, and I didn't want her to know. She'd never been to Las Vegas and we were going, come heck or high water... or muscle spasms...herniated disks...drug induced coma...etc. Moving ever so slowly, I managed to get ready. The Lortab was beginning to kick in.

Some how we managed to book a flight out to Las Vegas right after a MAJOR snow dump on the city. Didn't matter! We were going! Las Vegas was waiting!! We pulled into the airport parking lot, shoved our heavy winter coats and gear in the trunk of the car and scrambled to the nearest shuttle shelter. Jumped on the shuttle, got through security, ran to the gate AND...the flight was late.

My sister had NO idea what was going to happen in Las Vegas. It was a total surprise. I had booked tickets to see her most favorite artist in the world, "Gino Vanelli", (Okay, so no one has seen or heard him since the early 80's.) made reservations at a posh Japanese restaurant (Japonais) and planned for another of her favorite things to do...shopping!

We finally boarded the plane and when we were almost to Vegas, I gave her a colorful envelope with an agenda of our weekend (except for the Gino Vanelli part), a copy of the restaurant menu and a map of the strip. She was so excited. She knew we were going to a venue but she didn't know who. I started to get worried because we were going to arrive late and I didn't want to lose our tickets. When the plane touched down, I immediately called the Flamingo Hotel to make sure our tickets were still secure. Unfortunately, my sister overheard me say, "Gino Vanelli". I guess shoving my face in the window of the plane, while cupping my hand over my mouth didn't deter her from hearing me on the cellphone. When I got off the phone, I looked at her and said, "Did you just hear what I said?", she said, "Yes!" and did this weird "wiggle giggle combo move" in her seat.

Since I've been to Las Vegas several times, as we unboarded the plane I looked at her and simple said, "Follow me 'cause I'm movin' fast!" Even if she was behind me, she would see me because she's darn near 6 ft tall. My brain was moving fast, trying to figure out how we could get to the venue the fastest because our shuttle tix would take us to our hotel, not the hotel where the venue was. Suddenly, my inner "hustler" came out. I went to go get the shuttle tickets and the rep at the ticket counter asked me, "Where do you need to go?". Hmmmm...she didn't ask me where was I staying, right? So, I said, "We need to go to the Flamingo Hotel." She gave us our shuttle tix and off we went!

We jump off the shuttle, roll our bags into the Flamingo, up to the counter we go to get our tix, across the gaming floor, hit the door of the venue and the person at the door says, "You can't take your luggage in there." I gave them a "Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis?" kind of look and said, "We're not booked at this hotel, so what do you suggest we do?" Eureka! How would I know by having our luggage that we would get a very cool Vegas kind of seat? (Ok, so what if we were in the very back.) We were in one of those huge half moon booths, drinking something fruity and waving the lights from our cellphones in the air, rockin' out with "Gino Vanelli"!

What an awesome trip! We popped pain meds the entire trip but it was SO worth it. It was only when we got home that we begin to realize the condition of our bodies. My sister had just gotten a walking cast removed the week prior to our trip and was still suffering from some pain and the DAY after we got back, I ended up in the Dr's office with a severe pinched nerve that knocked me out for WEEKS. ALL for VEGAS, BABY! ALL for VEGAS!!!!

Monday, February 02, 2009

70% of African-American Women in the US are Single

An astounding statistic when you first see it. The following are statistics taken from the book, "Food For The Soul" by Maryanne Campbell:

"Some experts say there are between 35 to 45 single black men who are in college or have jobs for ever 100 black women. The more education and income a black woman has, the fewer eligible black men on her level."

"Black men suffer far worse health than any other racial group in America..."

"Black men live 7.1 years less than other racial groups..."

Black men have a high suicide rate. "It is the 3rd leading cause of death in 15 to 24 year olds."

"In 73% of black-white marriages, the husband was black." Black men have white wives 2.65 times more than black women have white husbands. Five times as many black men live with white women as white men live with black women."

Looking at it from a different perspective, I would have the following questions: What if other men of color chose not to (for whatever reason) approach Black women? What if other men of color felt like Black women didn't want to be approached?
Are Black women willing to date outside of Black men?
How many of the 70% statistic are gay and wouldn't date a Black man anyway?

It boils down to this...love is colorless...it really is. Until we reach beyond our fears, filters and judgments, we'll never know how encompassing and unconditional love really is and if those are the walls that prevent you from dating or finding your mate, then shame on you. No one else can be the blame for your "singleness". Yes, I'm married, however, the best boyfriend I ever had was not a Black man. He treated me with respect, wined me, dined me, was very spontaneous and original about his gifts and they were always given with such depth of thought and heart. He was indeed a rare find, but don't forget...he was not a Black man. So, ladies...make sure your single status is not your own doing.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tipping Rant

Okay, this is going to seem really mean but I have to get it out of my system. First, let me say, I appreciate all waitstaff. Part of the reason I go out to eat is because I want to be waited on, served and I don't want to have to do the dishes afterward, HOWEVER...let me say (in case you didn't know), tipping is a courtesy!
I don't know how waitstaff have come to think, just because you ARE a waiter or waitress, it means you get an automatic tip. Tip means, "to bestow a gratuity". A gratuity is "something given voluntarily or beyond obligation usually for some service". Ahhhh yes, see the word "voluntarily"? That tells me, I give it if and when I want to. I'm not trying to be mean...I'm really not. If I have waitstaff that's doing what they can for me, yet not bugging me to death, I will definitely make it worth your while, however...I am not trying to supplement your hourly wage. You KNEW the job only paid "change" when you accepted the position, so how very unwise of you to think or assume you would make enough in tips to make your car, rent or mortgage payment. If you do, praise God! If you don't, grin and bear it.
When I think of the worst waitstaff I've ever had, 2 stories come to mind.
Story #1 - At a Red Lobster with my hubby and our waitress was an African-American girl. Clearly, I was old enough to be this child's mother, yet I was greeted with, "What can I get for you sweetie?". Sweetie?!? I'm twice your age and you're calling me "sweetie"? Did I correct her? No. If I had it would have come out real wrong and frankly, I didn't want her doing ANYTHING to my food. Anyhoo...the girl takes our order, brings our food out and we don't see her again. Now you know it's bad when you have to hunt the waitress down to get the check. Thankfully we didn't need anything but we noticed she was treating another table the exact same way. This other table had an elderly, African-American couple seated. She literally ignored them too. Now, did this girl deserve a tip? No! Did we leave one? Yep. She got $3.00 on a $30 meal. She got EXACTLY 10%. When I relayed the story to my elderly Mother, she informed me it's rumored that elderly people don't tip well because of their fixed income, so they're subjected to less than satisfactory service at times. How absolutely unacceptable!
Story #2 - My husband and I went to another restaurant and after the meal, my husband signs the credit card slip. The waiter comes to retrieve it before we leave. As we were about to get up, the waiter comes back and says, "Was something wrong with your service?", my husband replied, "No.", the waiter says, "Did I do something wrong?", now more irritated, my husband says, "Nooo.", the waiter says, "Ok, I was just wondering if I had done something wrong." [smh] I was about to lose it! It took everything in me to not snatch the credit card receipt back and change the tip amount. I don't even know how much of a tip my husband left but apparently, it was a little too little for this particular waiter.
Me and my husband love the episode on "3rd Rock From The Sun" where "Dick" learns how to tip and we've been tempted to use his technique many, many, many times.

To all you waiters and waitresses out there, know this...people want to tip you, however, be worthy of it. Remember, it's a gratuity, not a right! If you have assumed your waitstaff gig is supposed to supplement your income consistently, you are sorely misled...and...you need to find another better paying job. 'Nuff said. Peace!

And so, it has begun...

A new President, a new era, a new page in history. I decided to blog as I watched the swearing in. I wanted my on "play by play" of it all as it happened.
Right now, President-Elect is walking calmly but looking very sober as he is about to be introduced. My prayers are that the American people will give him a fighting chance. He's not a miracle worker, he's an answer to a younger generations prayers.
11:43am - President Elect Obama, the 5th youngest President is being introduced to the largest attended inauguration ever! Approximately 2 million people want to watch history first hand...and I don't blame them. Maybe because of technology, THIS time, the historical records won't be "exaggerated" or tampered with.
It's just amazing to see the National Mall erupting in a sea of red, white and blue flags. I can't recall, in my lifetime, American's so excited about something. No matter if you voted for Obama or not, now is the time to rally behind the leader in place, just as the armed forces would have to do. Discouraging or disparaging words are moot now. It doesn't matter what you like or dislike about Obama, if you can only support him in prayer then do that. It is what it is.
11:45am - What about Rick Warren praying? Who cares? His prayer was awesome and I was proud of him for incorporating humility, repentance and especially Jesus in it. 11:50am - Now I have to admit, "Re-Re" (Aretha Franklin) singing made me a little nervous. LOL I was just hoping she would remember all of the words and not lose her place. LOL She must have been singing with her own track because it was a little to jazzy for the armed forces orchestra. I must say it was an interesting rendition. The only person that could have topped that rendition was probably Patti LaBelle. Can you imagine Patti hittin' a high note and holding it for 16 bars? :::crackin' up laughin':::
11:56am - Joe Biden is being sworn in. Not too sure about him. He kind of came out of nowhere to me. The jury is still out on him.
12:00pm - "Aire" and "Simple Gifts" a very diverse quartet is playing with YoYo Ma and Itzak Pearlman included. YoYo Ma and Itzak are BEAST on those strings. I could listen to both all day. it's now passed noon and even though Obama hasn't been sworn in, he is NOW President of the United States.
12:05pm - President Obama is being sworn in by Justice John G. Roberts Jr....and...it...is...DONE! He fumbled a bit, probably nerves...after all, who could blame him. Unfortunately, the media is going to ride him about that fumble for his entire term.
President Barak Obama, the 44th President of the United States...may God bless him and keep him. May he maintain humility before God and man and be a man of integrity and civility.
As he speaks to the American people for the first time as President, I'm impressed with his realistic approach to the current and dismal state of our nation. I thank God for an individual that has stepped up to the plate in an attempt to lead a floundering nation.
God bless the President and God bless America.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

New Year, New Blog Entry

Well, it's finally here...2009. I'm really glad because 2008 was "hellish". It was a true "trying of my faith". Who would have thought I'd be on medical leave for most of the year!?! I was bracing myself as 2009 rolled in because I just don't know what it will bring for me physically.
There are a few changes (not New Year's Resolutions) that I will be implementing in 2009. My diet will be more vegan. I'm already more vegetarian-ish than I've ever been in life, but I have to practice consuming complete proteins, so I won't become deficient and I'm changing chiropractors.
The chiropractor I currently go to, I've been a patient of for over 10 years. She helped me get back on my feet on more than one occasion. Recently (I guess the 2008 year), I began to realize just how expensive this chiropractor really was and something didn't sit quite right with me. I do a procedure called decompression therapy. My current chiro charges $250.00 per session...and it's NOT paid by my insurance. I had two spinal incidences this year. The first was a severe pinched nerve and I needed 10 of these $250.00 sessions. The second incident was a diagnosis of DDD (degenerative disk disease). Every disk in my cervical spine was bulging or herniated...and quite painful! That incident caused me to need 20 of those $250.00 sessions. Make a long story short, I had to take out a health loan to pay for the sessions. One day I decided to take a good long look at this decompression machine. I took a mental note of the company, model name, etc and looked it up on the internet. To my GREAT surprise (and disgust), this "miracle machine" cost (and I'm inflating the price slightly) $15,000.00!!!!!!! How can a machine that I only spend 15-20 minutes on at a time and cost $15,000.00, cost me $250.00 per session?!??! Doing the math, I realized I paid for 1/2 of the machine! And I'm 1 of probably 100 or so patients that utilize this type of decompression therapy. Now...to add insult to injury, I began to research other chiropractors specifically in my area because my current chiropractor is just WAY too far from my home. To my surprise, I not only find (what looks like) an awesome chiropractor that is 5 minutes from my home, he even offers the same decompression therapy...FOR $40.00 PER SESSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT...was the straw that broke this camels back. $40.00 per session??? I've been paying a 600% mark up???? Talk about being livid! That health loan of $7000.00 caused unnecessary financial strain on my husband and I and I'm SO angered by that. So...I'm going to my chiropractor Monday to tell them to stick it where the sun...just kidding. I'm not that vindictive. LOL I will definitely tell them about the price gauging that seems to be in place for therapies not covered by people's insurance. That is SO not cool! It's really quite sad because I liked the chiropractor, the staff and their care but I DO NOT and will not tolerate being taken advantage of. Hmpf! In the name of Jesus, this year has GOT to get better! LOL!

The Chronic Pain Chronicles, Part 11: A NEW Normal

 If you're looking at the date, yes, you've noticed that I haven't written or updated my blog in quite some time. What can I say...